Squeaky Wheels

"Squeaky wheels always get the grease."  How many times have I heard that phrase?  More than I can count, and many times, it's not always said in the most favorable light.  Squeaky wheels aren't always looked upon with favor but rather with disdain.  They can be loud, disruptive, annoying, and just generally unpleasant to be around.  While I hope it's not often and it's far from pleasurable to do so, I can be one of those squeaky wheels when I need to be.

I guess that a sign of age is that you begin to utter the phrases that you once heard your parents utter to which you yourself responded, "I hope that I never say that!"  Of course, in our youth and immaturity, we oftentimes find that the very utterances of our parents were much more wise than we ever gave them credit for and far more forged under the fires of experience than we ever expected.

Over the last few years, I have found that our world begs us, if not forces us, to be our own advocates.  There are few who will advocate for us, especially when it comes to healthcare, education, and financial services.  While I have met those who will be an advocate for me, more often than not, I need to be my own advocate, I need to be a squeaky wheel of sorts.

This certainly became apparent while my mom was going through her battle against cancer and has become even more apparent as my dad has made his own journey through declining health.  I've seen it with my own children and with the children of friends who don't quite fit in.  I've experienced it myself as I have had to keep tabs on my own progress through seminary as I, the renegade, chose to make the journey along a path less traveled with little guideposts along the way.

I was so thankful to have completed my seminary coursework 6 months earlier than anticipated.  This was especially monumental as I started the program off slower than my classmates.  I had made a decision that I would not spend more than 1 week away from my family even though the program required me to be gone for 2 weeks at a time.  When I knew that all would end well with my classes, I realized that I had but one last mountain to climb: my statement of faith.

I am a communicator.  I am a planner.  I am an arranger.  People joke about the color-coded spreadsheet that tracked my journey through seminary.  As much as they joke, there is no way that I would have been able to do what I did had I not so carefully tracked what I was doing, where I had been, where I was going, and what I needed to get there.  I started working towards my statement of faith about 6 months before I knew that it would be due.  I waited with anticipation for news of who would be tracking with me along this last leg of my journey.

As soon as the news came, I emailed those who would be overseeing the process to alert them that I wanted to fast-track the process.  While others would be taking a long journey through this last leg of the process, I wanted to get it done as fast as I possibly could.  My emails were met with no response, so I simply proceeded as if they were at least read.  First mistake.

Over and over throughout the process, I did my best to communicate to those who were overseeing this last leg and my progress through it, but I got no response.  I don't like to be ignored, was I being ignored or had my emails been misplaced?  Could so many emails get misplaced?

When my frustration finally hit a certain point, I called a friend who had been instrumental in me being in the program that I was in.  I explained the situation and she encouraged me to be a squeaky wheel.  I did what she told me and within a few days, not only had the process begun to move, but it went through such a fast-track that it was completed by the end of the week.

So what did I learn through all of this?  I learned that if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.  Don't give up.  It might seem like you are being ignored, it might seem as if no one is listening, but if what you say and what you need are as important as you think that they are, keep saying it and keep doing it until someone finally hears and acknowledges your voice.

I also learned about the importance of being a squeaky wheel.  Like I said, we need to be our own advocates, and that's exactly what I did.  There are times in life when we need to make ourselves known, to add some "squeak" to ourselves in order to be heard.  I guess it can be a good gauge for us to know whether or not we think that what we are trying to achieve is important enough.  If we feel that we are bothering people by advocating ourselves, perhaps what we are trying to achieve is not as important as we originally thought that it was.

As the years go by, I will find myself needing to be an advocate for myself and my family more and more, but I also need to be aware that there are others out there who have no advocates.  I need to listen and pay attention, hear the voices of those who are crying out and in need of advocacy.  It's easy to relegate assume that these people are only found in places of economic and social destitution, but having grown up in the suburbs, I know from experience that there are those within the suburbs as well who are desperately in need of advocates, of those who will take time to listen and stand up for them. 

Sometimes we need to stand up and be squeaky wheels for others.  Are we taking the time to listen and hear those who might need us to do just that?

Seeking to Find

There are sometimes when I have a fairly obsessive personality.  It mostly manifests itself when I lose something.  There are few things that frustrate me more than losing something.  In some ways, I consider it a disappointment that I would be so careless.  In other ways, it could just be my bucking against the busyness of life.  I generally lose things when I have a lot going on and I get overwhelmed with trying to keep everything straight.

If you would ask my wife, she would tell you that on more than one occasion, I have taken a ride late at night to go in search of something at my office that I was unable to find at home.  If I go to bed having lost something, I have had a hard time sleeping and usually get up to search for whatever is lost.  On the Myers-Briggs Type indicator, I am a fairly strong "J" which means that I need closure and resolution.

My wife, on the other hand, is not nearly as obsessive.  On the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, she is a "P" which means that she can more easily float from one thing to another without feeling the need for closure.  We are different people and over the course of our 11 years of marriage, I'd like to think that we have come a little closer to center, her being more purposeful in seeking closure and me being a little less obsessive when searching for things.

While we were away at a family wedding last weekend, my wife received some very nice earrings from her mom.  She wore them to the wedding and in an attempt to keep them out of certain little hands, she put them somewhere safe.  The problem was, the hiding place was so safe that she couldn't find them when we got home.  A few days later, after we had gotten home, we were starting off our day and my wife informed me that she lost her earrings and may have left them at the hotel.  She told me that she was very disappointed, especially considering that she had only had them a few days.

Naturally, I sprung into action.  My obsessiveness can be an advantage at times.  When we go away, I check back in the rooms where we stayed 3 or 4 times before we leave to go home to make sure that we have not forgotten anything.  I knew that I had checked the hotel room in which we stayed to see if there was anything of ours lingering around.  I had not found anything and was able to announce that we had everything.  So, I knew that the earrings had to be somewhere.  Still, there was a doubt in me and I feared that maybe I had missed something.

I checked duffle bags, pocket books, shoe boxes, and a sundry of other bags that had gone with us on the trip.  All to no avail.  I asked her if she could think of any other place where she might have put it and she mentioned the diaper bag.  I went to the car to find the bag and began the arduous task of checking every nook and cranny within the diaper bag.  I shuffled things around, dug in each and every pocket until I finally found a little plastic baggy that contained the earrings.  Triumphant, I ran upstairs and held the bag up to her, asking, "Are these them?"

I sensed the relief and could read it on the face of my wife.  Her hiding spot had been so good that she was unable to find it herself.  Mostly, I was happy because she was happy.  While I might not hate other people losing things as much as I hate losing things myself, it could be a close second.

As I thought about the reckless pursuit of the earrings that I had undertaken, I couldn't help but think about Jesus' parables of the lost coin, the lost sheep, and the lost son.  Jesus used these stories to illustrate the value that individuals are to God.  As I recounted the storied, I wondered how often I placed the same value that I had placed on finding those earrings on people in my life.  How often had I chosen to put everything else aside to pursue something that was lost or in need of fixing?

As I thought it through, I wondered what made me obsess about certain things and not others.  Jesus did not indicate in his parables that there was anything particularly special about the things being pursued.  It wasn't that it was the favorite or special in some way, it was just that it was lost.  I really felt convicted about the value that I put in things outside of myself.  How much obsession do I put into pursing those who are lost?  The ones who I love and value the most?  How about the ones that don't necessarily hold a special place in my heart?  Does a pair of earrings really matter as much as people?

Conviction is a tough thing, but it's tougher if I don't let it do what needs to be done.  Its purpose isn't to guilt me into doing things, just to help me to think things through more, and that's exactly what I hope happens.  I hope and pray that I will value people more than things, that I would leave the 99 to pursue the one, and that the one that I pursue would know that they are valued by me, regardless of whether I think that they are the best, the brightest, or even my favorite.  I've got a long way to go in this area, thanks be to God that I don't have to do it by myself.