tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25712960384013954942024-03-06T03:33:46.120-05:00Confessions of A Recovering P.K.I am a husband, father, learner, pastor, musician, and movie enthusiast.Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.comBlogger221125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-61987500926648505102013-10-04T08:00:00.000-04:002013-10-04T08:00:09.610-04:00Shutdown<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEius0B-ROYA7wTFuKdHZqXmJlaxeDWO1jHwJdmbzXRvOD7AEak2kGnib7pblcxBEpV85YOth63IrboYKj0F3W6K4uuqb66s-gyVmgcaHwfnUSfY85ljp-xUKCkxO8PVJr1R-23SVVEyaw7B/s1600/shutdown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEius0B-ROYA7wTFuKdHZqXmJlaxeDWO1jHwJdmbzXRvOD7AEak2kGnib7pblcxBEpV85YOth63IrboYKj0F3W6K4uuqb66s-gyVmgcaHwfnUSfY85ljp-xUKCkxO8PVJr1R-23SVVEyaw7B/s320/shutdown.jpg" width="320" /></a>The government of the United States has shut down, and the world is
still turning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, although the
government has shut down, the ones who have caused this shutdown are still
being paid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finger pointing is happening
on a minute by minute basis between conservatives and liberals, Democrats and
Republicans.</div>
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<br /></div>
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As I drove around in my car the other day, trying to see whether this
whole shutdown had really made a difference in my world, I was growing
increasingly more disenchanted with the number of political campaign signs that
I saw.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was a political gathering
at the clubhouse in my neighborhood which meant an inundation of political signs,
albeit temporarily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As the Fall wanes on
and we move from October towards November, we will most likely see an overabundance
of advertisements in the places where we usually find ourselves
unmolested.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There is an even greater
chance of that when the election results seem to mean more than usual or if we
live in some kind of swing state (although the effect is not quite as great on
a non-presidential election year).</div>
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<br /></div>
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I am not a very political guy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have strong moral convictions and I am fairly conservative to moderate,
but politics have never really interested me much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My lackadaisical approach towards politics
has changed over the past few years, to the point of growing frustrated and
angry with the approach that we take towards politics.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I don’t spend a ton of time watching TV, and if I do, it’s usually
sports, weather, music, or movies.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even
in those limited viewing experiences, I have been seeing my fair share of
political advertisements.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The thing is,
I’m not even sure that I can really use that term to describe what’s happening
in those 30 second slots on television.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>An advertisement will generally tell you all of the benefits of a
product rather than telling you that you need to buy it simply because it’s not
one of the other competing products.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sadly, that’s what we have become, the state of our political ad
campaigns is more of a “here’s all the reasons why my opponent is the wrong
choice” rather than a “let me tell you exactly what I stand for and why I’m the
right choice” approach.</div>
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How did we get here?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When did
it get to a point where the platform on which we run is simply that we aren’t
our opponent?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How much can we really
understand and know about someone who simply tells you that their opponent is corrupt,
a crook, a cheat, a liar, and so many other things while not saying a thing
about themselves?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we get so busy
telling people all of the things that we aren’t, we generally neglect to tell
people about all of the things that we are.</div>
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<br /></div>
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We’ve even kind of gotten here in the church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of speaking of the difference that
Jesus Christ has made in our lives, we talk about how we’re better than
everyone else because we don’t do this or that, believe this or that, or vote
for this or that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not exactly a means by
which to win friends and influence people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We can say whatever we want, but until people see that Jesus is making a
difference in us, it’s going to devolve into a political smear campaign against
anyone who believes differently than us.</div>
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<br /></div>
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Sure, what we believe is important, but if what we believe doesn’t
make a difference in the way that we live our lives, does it really
matter?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it really worth all of that
if there is no change in us?</div>
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I am changed because of what Christ has done in me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If left to my own devices, I would be an even
bigger jerk than I already am.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People
dislike me now, they would dislike me even more had I not entered into a
relationship with Jesus Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have
been able to endure difficulties and trials, I have seen my needs met, I have
seen life change take place in me and in others, all because of Jesus
Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has made a difference for me
and for many others who I know.</div>
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I would much rather know what someone is for rather than what they’re
against.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish people would appreciate
me for what I believe rather than what I oppose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wish that people would see how Jesus has
changed me rather than how staying away from everything else has made me
better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I hope that people see that I am
different not because of “sin management” in my life but because of God’s
transformative love and power.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I’ve
got a platform on which I’m standing, that’s it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing more.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Nothing less.</div>
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How nice it would be if we could just simply hear about what people
are for.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wouldn’t it make our elections
a little simpler to negotiate?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we
took this approach within the church, we might actually see people coming
because they had seen how Christ had impacted people they work with, they live
near, they go to school with, or play sports with rather than because they wanted
a place that met all of their needs and provided all of the programs to keep
them and their family occupied and satisfied.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
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Jesus isn’t a program a product or a campaign, and if we treat him
like one, we shouldn’t be surprised if people grow as tired of him as they do
of the programs, products, and political candidates which eventually grow
stale.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just like some of us have
struggled to fully understand what impacts this government shutdown have REALLY
had on our lives, I wonder what would happen if the church shut down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would people really see a difference?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would they care?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would we?</div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-34032811523680520912013-05-18T07:59:00.001-04:002013-05-18T07:59:33.788-04:00One Month<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7WsdxMjAgJVjNReXcytXn5gLiZ9daawc2AVQqQPzjV1Z70qWTH1wnEtAWTjWeQagWMrK7EtV5P8KQSz9Nyf3olvpO22QqYu95nhGO9E2U5cauRLZ3kbj1hyphenhyphenJ4NC40RDZl8SFwVVeuxCew/s1600/jon+tony+-+wedding+day.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7WsdxMjAgJVjNReXcytXn5gLiZ9daawc2AVQqQPzjV1Z70qWTH1wnEtAWTjWeQagWMrK7EtV5P8KQSz9Nyf3olvpO22QqYu95nhGO9E2U5cauRLZ3kbj1hyphenhyphenJ4NC40RDZl8SFwVVeuxCew/s320/jon+tony+-+wedding+day.jpg" width="249" /></a><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Yesterday was
one month since my father passed away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In the past
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Time can be
both our friend and our enemy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we
need more of it, it seems that it works against us as a foe rather than an
ally.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we work with it, it can be a
constant companion to us, helping us along the way, pushing us towards
promptness and responsibility.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This morning I
read a quote which has stuck with me from Mark Batterson.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He wrote, "Hurry kills everything from
compassion to creativity."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every
day, that lesson becomes more and more apparent to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I am in a hurry, my patience runs thin,
my attitude worsens as I find myself rushing to get done what I need to get
done, regardless of who is in my way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
fact, if you're in my way, you will most likely get run over.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">This lesson
become so readily apparent to me over the last year or so spent with my
father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could never visit him while in
a rush.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I could never take him out or
engage him in conversation if I had to quickly move on to the next thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His pace slowed down which subsequently
slowed me down.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I think that was really
good for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It helped me to realize
what was important.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Of course,
today, we can easily accomplish multiple things at once as we multitask our way
through life with smartphones, tablets, and other technological resources.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not only is there a need for us to slow down
but also to intentionally disengage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This is a point of growth in my life, a place that needs some
focus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's too easy to "just take
a second" and check my email or social media, yet what am I missing in the
midst of those "seconds" that I am away.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Time is not
moving backwards.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We can't turn back the
clock.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can't have my father back, but
I am grateful for the many life lessons that I learned from him, directly and
indirectly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>"Ruthlessly eliminating
hurry" is a noble task to undertake, but it needs consistency and
accountability as well.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My dad is gone
and I miss him terribly, but the lessons that I have learned can help to keep
his legacy and memory alive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Months will
pass, anniversaries will creep up, and I will deal with them all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Remembering all that I have learned will
bring a smile to my face as I realize that even out of darkness, light can
come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the midst of sorrow and pain
and mourning, new days will rise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From
out of the ashes, like a phoenix, rises life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How can I make sure to live into that legacy?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Let those lessons not have been learned in
vain.</span></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-28998771915866664382013-05-17T07:30:00.000-04:002013-05-17T07:30:03.215-04:00Firstborn<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I remember
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been two years since our first was born and we had spent those two years as a family
of three, getting used to each other, learning how to live as a unit, and my
wife and I gave all of our attention to our son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was no one else to infringe upon his
time with us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had 100% of us.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmJ2Q3zH-YVcj4wzw7Mc0_kYcKe7fEQtswVUAm_dy_inCaDj5oZuUpXIfQvDgKpqXZLmbfwM_Yr4APefo-dLl3V3MJQc6JYRx7GG3QLu6lL_nr4oHQVaXaFJCigw-2M1I9sVY8UO5VajYK/s1600/rembrandt-return-of-the-prodigal-son11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmJ2Q3zH-YVcj4wzw7Mc0_kYcKe7fEQtswVUAm_dy_inCaDj5oZuUpXIfQvDgKpqXZLmbfwM_Yr4APefo-dLl3V3MJQc6JYRx7GG3QLu6lL_nr4oHQVaXaFJCigw-2M1I9sVY8UO5VajYK/s320/rembrandt-return-of-the-prodigal-son11.jpg" width="253" /></a><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Then, our
second son came along.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While my first
son wasn't angry, or at least didn't act it, he also didn't pay any mind to his
new little brother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He ignored him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over time, he began to realize that the time
which he had easily monopolized had to be shared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was no longer #1.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The first time he really paid any attention
to his little brother, my wife had his little brother in the swing and my
oldest just stopped, stared at him, and began to laugh hysterically.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We captured the moment on video, which is
fairly priceless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was the beginning
of their relationship together.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">From a
biblical perspective, there are plenty of advantages to being the
firstborn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The firstborn had the lion's
share of inheritance, many times being the double portion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The inheritance would extend beyond simply
finances as well, the firstborn would most likely carry on the family name and
become the patriarch after the death of the father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were, and still are, many benefits to
being the firstborn.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Among the
other places in Scripture where we see the relationship between the firstborn
and younger brother is the parable of the prodigal son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you have never read Henri Nouwen's
"Return of the Prodigal Son," it is a must read as he takes the
perspective of each character within the book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The most eye-opening and convicting section of the book for me was the
section on the oldest brother.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sure, the
younger brother squandered his share of the fortune on hard living, gaining
friends who cared for nothing more than his money, but grace meets us where we
are when we come in repentance, which is exactly how the younger brother was
returning to his father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But it wasn't
fair, how could he tell his father, "I wish you were dead because I want
my share of the family fortune," squander all that his money, and then
return and think that there was still a place at the table for him?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are some limits to grace, aren't there?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It's always
funny how we are happy and satisfied with grace when it is meted out upon us,
but when it comes to extending it to someone else, they need to earn it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why does that never apply to us?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do we earn grace?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we did, would it still be grace?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Lately, I have
noticed that the trend of the firstborn happens in all different places in
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People are #1 for a while, they
get everything that they want, all attention is focused on them, and then
someone else comes along and they are not happy with sharing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have done everything that they are
supposed to do and then the "younger brother" comes along, is
extended grace, and they aren't happy about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How about me? they ask.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How about all that I have done?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Another
parable that strikes a chord, or even a "grace" note, is in <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew%2020:1-16&version=NIV">Matthew
20</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The workers are hired throughout
the day and at the end of the day are all paid the same amount.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It just doesn't seem fair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But the landlord did nothing other than what
he promised, he paid them all exactly what he had promised, but the ones who
had done more work thought it was unfair.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I'm a second
born, but there have been plenty of times that I have acted like a
firstborn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've been selfish and
stubborn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have demanded things my way
and cried out "foul" when things don't go the way that I want.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I want grace but when it comes to extending
it elsewhere, I want people to earn it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have been the old brother, how about you?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The surprising
thing to me is that some of us can go our whole lives and act as if we are only
children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everything has been handed to
us on a platter, served up fresh and on time, and when someone else comes
along, cramping our style, we react harshly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Why can't things be the way they were when it was just me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess that basic principle of sharing that
we were supposed to have learned in pre-school was somehow overlooked.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I don't want
to act like the older son, it just kind of happens though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to be reminded every day that grace
happens, it's not earned, it's extended freely, otherwise, it wouldn't be
grace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Think about it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Check out Nouwen's book.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Next time you start feeling lofty as if you
deserved something, maybe you can remember exactly what you would deserve if it
hadn't been for God's grace extended to you.</span></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-53008224996493431142013-05-07T08:26:00.001-04:002013-05-07T08:26:28.986-04:00Transition<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipM9PNJ_faGU1fIWeQZQI1y9sy7-yajETUWk6HR8M0MAVtaOLRUIR0_371Jb1SfJ5mj0JmoxPo1dRMheWFdbkWXu02OOrPISC_cKqqfRH7Ffdag6TqFlq_hmrJpmQviqLpDFAp6ao3T-X4/s1600/transition.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipM9PNJ_faGU1fIWeQZQI1y9sy7-yajETUWk6HR8M0MAVtaOLRUIR0_371Jb1SfJ5mj0JmoxPo1dRMheWFdbkWXu02OOrPISC_cKqqfRH7Ffdag6TqFlq_hmrJpmQviqLpDFAp6ao3T-X4/s320/transition.jpg" width="320" /></a>After nearly 4 years here at Blogger, I'm making a transition over to Wordpress. Blogger has served me well, but I need more features to simplify my busy life. Blogger has served me well over these nearly 4 years and I have been grateful for the opportunities and the readers that I have gained here.<br />
<br />
In the interim, I will continue to post here and on the <a href="http://coarpk.wordpress.com/">new blog</a> as well. I hope that if you have joined me and followed me here that you will make the transition with me. I am grateful for the readers that I have had and the opportunities to share my life in words with people who are willing to read.<br />
<br />Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-62618110274654207982013-05-07T08:20:00.001-04:002013-05-07T08:20:50.906-04:00Age<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I got a good
laugh the other day when someone saw some pictures from my wedding day and said
that I had hardly aged.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Well, that was
almost 12 years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My wife was
complaining the other day that I was the one who turned 40 but she was the one
with all of the gray hair.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've told her
countless times in the last 2 years that I expect to wake up one morning to
find that my hair has turned completely white (kind of like that old Crash Test
Dummies <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GaUqpnHvua8">song</a>,
remember?).</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpkDN_JadnUgF0ztHCVZuJKH33jioD8Ehs4TZ6LhTG9y8q7vaPQiNo8SXtuLGilnuy-29aGFlDCVGTXdIKz5b2zo6QZ9UdkI9r1BkURx62Wyz5Rs3Ex5PF3lqg1vgQOFsFwqpFUEUgH-Vt/s1600/agingface.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="166" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpkDN_JadnUgF0ztHCVZuJKH33jioD8Ehs4TZ6LhTG9y8q7vaPQiNo8SXtuLGilnuy-29aGFlDCVGTXdIKz5b2zo6QZ9UdkI9r1BkURx62Wyz5Rs3Ex5PF3lqg1vgQOFsFwqpFUEUgH-Vt/s320/agingface.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Age is kind of
a funny thing though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>To be honest, I
have felt that I have aged about 20 years in the last 2.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So much has happened to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've lost both of my parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've had another child.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've been involved with a church split.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've graduated seminary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Losing my parents has sucked a significant
amount of life out of me, but it's also grown me in leaps and bounds.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a very different person than I was 2
years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have changed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Our
experiences form and shape us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a
firm believer that God allows our circumstances to act as crucibles of sorts,
causing us to be transformed by the heat of those circumstances as the heat is
turned on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They most likely aren't
circumstances that we would choose for ourselves, I know that's the way that I
feel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would not have wished these last
2 years on people that I don't like let alone people that I care deeply about.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It's kind of
funny that the circles that I have run in for most of my life have equated age
and years of experience as cause for expertise, wisdom, or knowledge.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While that might seem fairly accurate, I
don't really think that it is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
completely leaves the idea of personal experience out of the equation and
discounts how traumatic and stressful experiences in life can do in short
periods what it would normally take years to accomplish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That's how I feel about my past few years.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In the church
we make this error too often.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We look at
someone who has been around for a number of years or been a "charter
member" of our church and assume spiritual maturity or expertise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The problem is, there hasn't been a
significant change in them since they signed that charter so many years
ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Chronological age cannot be equated
with spiritual or emotional maturity.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have friends
whose heads have gone completely gray.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>They're a few years younger than me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I can't explain it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My brother
started going gray years ago and I thought that it was just a result of some of
the difficult decisions that he had made earlier in life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You know what they say about hard living,
right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Looking at me, it might seem as
if I'm still "wet behind the ears" and lacking experience simply
because of what you can see on the outside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Don't always judge a book by its cover though.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">While I don't
know that I have come far enough in my own spiritual maturity to say that I am
thankful for the last few years, I can say that I am thankful that God has used
them to change and transform me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am
bolder than I ever was before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am more
compassionate than I ever was before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
am kinder and gentler than I was before.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>At the same time, I have been angrier than I have been in a long
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been lonelier than I have
been in a long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have been sadder
than I have been in a long time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess
there's two sides to every coin.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What
experiences have you had that have shaped and changed you?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you resisted them or asked God to help
you through them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we face difficult
circumstances, we have a choice in how we respond.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How will you respond?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-77772193161245737352013-05-06T07:00:00.000-04:002013-05-06T07:00:02.335-04:00Statue<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I had to go to
the circuit court last week to take care of my dad's affairs in probate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The woman who helped me was so kind and
caring.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She made small talk with me and
the process was much less painless than I had thought it would be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thanked her for making it simple and she
told me I should thank my dad.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVioL5z9SZoHWdbru7rCZt57riFMBG1QYKqvEtyZaWlploej-udP02rkAmKK6bjyAYnOVbi717uapC3N6yayU27zM1tiMeP7HTbbMVL29BrXv7jfoasTeInkv7zXZFTLBrfAXRSQc1Oyqg/s1600/2013-05-02+09.22.51.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVioL5z9SZoHWdbru7rCZt57riFMBG1QYKqvEtyZaWlploej-udP02rkAmKK6bjyAYnOVbi717uapC3N6yayU27zM1tiMeP7HTbbMVL29BrXv7jfoasTeInkv7zXZFTLBrfAXRSQc1Oyqg/s320/2013-05-02+09.22.51.jpg" width="180" /></a><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The process
was painless until I got outside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I
exited the building, an overwhelming feeling of loss came over me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every last thing that I do is exactly that,
the last thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am taking care of
things for my dad for the last time and the gravity of the moment was intense.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Melancholics
don't need glum and dreary days to feel pensive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was a beautiful day and the sun was
shining.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It had actually been dreary
earlier on, but the skies opened up and the sun shone down as I approached
Williamsburg (was there a hidden message there for me?).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I approached my car, I passed a statue of
a Native American.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I put some of my
stuff in the car and I wanted to stretch the moment out longer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wanted to sit in the sunshine, soak it in,
sit in my sadness and let it wash over me for a few moments longer.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, I went
over to the statue to read the plaque underneath.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was Powhatan, whom the plaque said was
responsible for the survival of the first settlement at Jamestown (do you think
his ancestors might be pissed?).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Here
was this statue, life-sized, standing above all who would come within its
vicinity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A man whom we read about in
history books, at least if we're from Virginia.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He played an integral part in survival for many who would go on to take
advantage, abuse, and steal from his tribe and many others, or at least pave
the way for more to come who would do those things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I digress.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Powhatan marks that spot and that statue will
be there for a long time.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDBhfJ2Qd7_K6Z4MLNKwMkxJmyh5sQdN8jyXPgp8Rm6S8pgeRfIEJ8RwRpEYVrIqWPl_CAprGotYbc6gqPxEq3vKQHizeqoSBdvuqytZKtqSUpXfdPew0EIsEij0KYNYC9LGnd_pQTM7bv/s1600/2013-05-02+09.23.16.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDBhfJ2Qd7_K6Z4MLNKwMkxJmyh5sQdN8jyXPgp8Rm6S8pgeRfIEJ8RwRpEYVrIqWPl_CAprGotYbc6gqPxEq3vKQHizeqoSBdvuqytZKtqSUpXfdPew0EIsEij0KYNYC9LGnd_pQTM7bv/s320/2013-05-02+09.23.16.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The contrasting
picture was my visit to the cemetery later on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>As I approached the crypt where my parents are laid, the flowers were
gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There was no evidence that just a
week and a half ago that crypt had been opened to receive its second
guest.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All that was there was a plate
which still hadn't been completed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Names.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dates.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A verse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A cross.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Praying hands.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A saying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That's it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No statue looming over
all who would come near.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not description
of what these two people had done.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It seemed a
little unjust to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn't know
Powhatan.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How could I have?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He lived way before my time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But I did know my mom and dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had an influence on me and on many
others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Could we have said more on that
plate than what we did?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Could we have
given people a better picture of all that they had done?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioNt1BIo_DswG4BYhfQdgUWFoI5toODjf_dis34yILMWgjFpH5-3fM9wQPVRokc8rEYATvuZxc8jMwKrOOMiEjklLbdef2JTKFawG9qassHfHok8GMGVLea_myMYxxhWNDoOM3lGYyMAq6/s1600/Gibson+grave+plate.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioNt1BIo_DswG4BYhfQdgUWFoI5toODjf_dis34yILMWgjFpH5-3fM9wQPVRokc8rEYATvuZxc8jMwKrOOMiEjklLbdef2JTKFawG9qassHfHok8GMGVLea_myMYxxhWNDoOM3lGYyMAq6/s320/Gibson+grave+plate.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Then I began
to think, that's not the job of a grave plate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That's my job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That's my legacy,
actually, it's their legacy living through me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I will not forget.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will
remember.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will live out that legacy
and let others know the contributions that they made in my life, and so will
others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A statue is tall and cold,
lifeless, unspeaking.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am living and
breathing, proclaiming, exemplifying what was invested into me by my parents.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There is no
statue, but there is me, there are my children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We are the monuments, the memorials of my parents as we live our lives
through what they taught me, taught us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My parents invested into people for the sake of Jesus Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I invest in people for the same reason.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Christ has made a difference in my life, he
made a difference in the life of my parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It would be a crime for me not to proclaim something that has had such a
significant impact on me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a living
legacy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you want to know my parents,
get to know me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can tell you stories,
or better yet, I can live out what they passed on to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That's much better than anything a statue can
do.</span></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-33576918526448679292013-05-03T07:30:00.000-04:002013-05-03T07:30:04.634-04:00Relief<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Although not
many people may talk about it, when a loved one dies after a long illness or
battle, there is a sense of relief that comes for family members.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It may not be overwhelming and it certainly
doesn't lead to ecstatic feelings, but it's relief nonetheless.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhieUTS3siigAL9Lxa-rDkuWb0tOGLVfADFriUzThgMOiOCesmb37jOyhL5QhdgmQFMciVb3WL0S4nktKZhB73pOh-uyvq059DmepSf_Ftc9X75bvh9IhGg2IC54DwsTdw30UzoYczSevhj/s1600/sigh+of+relief.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="234" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhieUTS3siigAL9Lxa-rDkuWb0tOGLVfADFriUzThgMOiOCesmb37jOyhL5QhdgmQFMciVb3WL0S4nktKZhB73pOh-uyvq059DmepSf_Ftc9X75bvh9IhGg2IC54DwsTdw30UzoYczSevhj/s320/sigh+of+relief.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In the 2 weeks
since my dad died, I have come to realize just how on edge I had been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was sleeping with my cell phone next to my
bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was like a cat in a room full of
rocking chairs every morning as I waited for the phone to ring to tell me that
Dad had fallen or, worse, that he was gone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There was a constant anxiety of what to do, when to go see him again, of
not being able to do enough.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In my trips
back and forth to Williamsburg since Dad passed away, I have pondered about my
state as I have driven.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over the last 2
years, so many of the trips that I have taken over to Williamsburg have been taken
in uncertainty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had no idea what I was
going to face.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The times that I took Dad
to the doctor or out to lunch, I wondered how engaged he would be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I drive over these days, there is none of
that feeling, just a feeling of relieved emptiness.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The problem is
that the process can't be complete and finished for a while.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Now starts all of the legal affairs that need
to be settled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Set things up for the
estate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Settle all of the
insurance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Clean out the house and get
it on the market.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's helping me to see
some helpful things that I can do for my own family to simplify things for
them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">A year ago
this month, my father's cardiologist told my aunt and I that he thought my dad
had weeks.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That was a fairly difficult
blow to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I knew that he was not
doing well, it hardly seemed so imminent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I decided that I was going to do my best to simplify things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So, as morbid as it sounds, I went over to
the funeral home that we had used for my mom and pre-planned Dad's funeral.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They made things fairly simple for me and I
thought that it would be much better to do it all while I was not in the throes
of grief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I never told my dad.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I like
closure.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can't handle too many
unresolved things hanging around in my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I've gotten much more flexible as I have gotten older.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Being married and having kids has that impact
on people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2013 has been a
"hanging" year for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There
are a number of things that need resolution that might not come for some
time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just have to live with them and
make the most of what is before me.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">That's kind of
the way life is though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does anyone ever
feel as if there is a constant state of resolution and relief in their
life?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have a hard time projecting that
and I think that it might be a pipe dream, so I won't get my hopes up. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Roll with the changes, isn't that what REO
Speedwagon says?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Today is a new
day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2013 will come and go, but I can't
wish for it to end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wishing your life
away is a surefire way of missing things, letting things pass you by.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do not want to regret missed
opportunities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't know what
tomorrow brings, heck, I'm not even sure what will happen today, but does it
matter?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My responsibility isn't to know
everything, it's to trust the One who does.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If I really believe in the sovereignty of God, it's time to put my money
where my mouth is and live it out.</span></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-90838691132942223272013-05-02T07:00:00.000-04:002013-05-02T07:00:10.469-04:00Letting Go - Part II<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The day that
my father died, except for an hour or so for lunch, I was with him the whole
day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I knew things weren’t good and that
it wouldn’t be long, but I had no idea what the timeline was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was numb and probably in disbelief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was hard for me to wrap my head around
everything that the last few years had held for me and my family.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The pastors
that I work with had driven me down to Williamsburg and my wife met us at the
facility where dad had been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She brought
our daughter and stayed for a few hours.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>After lunch, my fellow pastors left and I had the whole afternoon by
myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was expecting that someone
might come to visit, but I remained there by myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I just continued to love on my father,
reading Scripture to him, singing songs over him, and assuring him that we
would be fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had done a fine job of
raising his two sons and he had fought long enough.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He needed to hear that it was all right to
leave us.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO0Rn51NybxfvtEm1AV1-E3mD4xzwKkAYui9jqINlJn6r29-xWTvN0layCPiIq8i0HH0npTmQOzDdluliEC795NysGSYIDzGIUQzVwXenAYIS5dgKn3nS94FHZwhtvziwwq05c2fWzyRNW/s1600/letting-go.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO0Rn51NybxfvtEm1AV1-E3mD4xzwKkAYui9jqINlJn6r29-xWTvN0layCPiIq8i0HH0npTmQOzDdluliEC795NysGSYIDzGIUQzVwXenAYIS5dgKn3nS94FHZwhtvziwwq05c2fWzyRNW/s320/letting-go.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Many times throughout
that afternoon, I cradled his head in my hands and kissed his head.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I whispered that I loved him in his ear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told him how I couldn’t have asked for a
better father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having been on morphine
since that morning, I knew that his consciousness would most likely not return.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Taking a break
from reading, singing, and speaking, I decided to write in my journal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Little did I know how the words that I would
write and the prayer that I would utter would come true.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“It’s hard to
express how it feels to lose both of your parents before your 40<sup>th</sup>
birthday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I thought that I would have
had so much more time with them, but God had other plans.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When Dad is gone, there will be a finality to
things that is seemingly unbearable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
know God gives strength, but I am taking it moment by moment right now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It’s so hard
because I feel like I’m reliving my life from 2 years ago.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just watching Dad simply breathing in his bed
is reminding me of Mom’s last days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Lord, please take him quickly.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It would seem
that God answered my prayer as Dad passed within hours of my writing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Part of me thought that I should have been
more careful of what I asked for, but then I realized that this was
better.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t want him to die, but I
also didn’t want him to “live” a life like he had been living.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In actuality, what he was experiencing could
hardly be called “living.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">One of my
prayers after my mom died and as my father’s health began to deteriorate was
that Dad not die alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He felt so lost
and alone when he left Connecticut.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Losing Mom just pushed him further into that darkness and it was hard
for me to bear.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With a full-time job, 3
kids and a family, seminary studies, and various other things happening in my
life, it was hard for me to spend as much time with Dad as I wanted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did what I could, but even when I wasn’t
there, I couldn’t help but think about the sad picture in my mind of him being
in there all alone.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I know that
people die alone every day, but it seemed unbearable for me to think about that
happening to Dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I couldn’t imagine one
of the nurses walking in and finding that he was gone and yet not knowing
exactly when he died.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That seemed so
harsh, even though I knew it was possible.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But I held out hope that it wouldn’t happen.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When he
finally went, it was all so painfully familiar to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Just as I had watched my mother’s neck for a
sign of a pulse, I watched my father take his final breaths, wondering if each
one would be the last one.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When that
last breath came and went and I knew that he was gone, I simply sat there for a
minute.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t remember exactly what I
did, but it wouldn’t be a surprise to think that I might have prayed a prayer
of “thanks” to God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like I said, it wasn’t
because I wanted Dad to die but because I didn’t want his suffering to
continue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mom suffered for 6
months.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dad had suffered for far longer.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">While there is
a sense of relief to me that his suffering is gone, the pain of dragging this
out is so fresh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s hard to let
go.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s hard to break free of the
numbness that I feel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s hard to come
to grips with the reality that is before me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Yes, time heals all wounds, but the scars never go away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They remain, reminding us of the pain that we
have experienced, calling out, sometimes screaming, to us not to forget how
they go there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Right now, the
bandages of loved ones and friends have covered up those scars, at least
temporarily.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Each day, I lift the
bandages to reveal what’s underneath.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Each day, I wish that I would lift the bandage and find that it has all
been just a dream, but the scars remain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Each day, I wish that I could just make that one phone call, but
realizing that is impossible, I simply reach for my phone to listen to
voicemails that I have saved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hearing
the words “I love you” from both my mom and dad in the form of a voicemail
recording will have to suffice for now.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In the
meantime, I press on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Life goes on,
people forget, but I refuse to do so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Mom and Dad have left indelible marks on my life and the lives of so
many other people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a living legacy,
so may the mark that I leave be just as long-lasting as the ones left on me.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-31809224465165606142013-05-01T07:00:00.000-04:002013-05-01T07:49:48.251-04:00Letting Go - Part I<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The week
before my dad died, I got a call from my aunt to let me know that he wasn’t
doing well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She felt like his breathing
stopped while she was sitting with him in his room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I wasn’t sure what to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had been through so many false alarms
before but my aunt is a nurse, and I trust her judgment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I continued with a rehearsal that I had
scheduled and then I had to cancel a meeting that I had.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After my rehearsal, I drove over to
Williamsburg.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO0Rn51NybxfvtEm1AV1-E3mD4xzwKkAYui9jqINlJn6r29-xWTvN0layCPiIq8i0HH0npTmQOzDdluliEC795NysGSYIDzGIUQzVwXenAYIS5dgKn3nS94FHZwhtvziwwq05c2fWzyRNW/s1600/letting-go.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjO0Rn51NybxfvtEm1AV1-E3mD4xzwKkAYui9jqINlJn6r29-xWTvN0layCPiIq8i0HH0npTmQOzDdluliEC795NysGSYIDzGIUQzVwXenAYIS5dgKn3nS94FHZwhtvziwwq05c2fWzyRNW/s320/letting-go.jpg" width="320" /></a><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I got to the
place where my dad was at about 9:30PM.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He was resting, so I just sat there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>When he opened his eyes, he didn’t seem as surprised as I thought he
would that I was sitting next to his bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We engaged in some small talk and I told him that I had come to check on
him because I was concerned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was in
and out of sleep for most of the 3 hours that I was there.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My journal
entry from that night reads:</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">“It’s 10:05PM
and I’m sitting at my dad’s bedside.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My
aunt called me earlier to say she didn’t think he had long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It’s hard to say where he is in this
process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He’s certainly not doing well
and I really don’t know how long he has.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">With Mom, we
always held out hope for a miracle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>With
Dad, it almost feels like the miracle would be God mercifully taking him.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Hard to say
goodbye when I feel like there’s so much else I need to say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He has enough of his wits to have asked how
Carrie and I were doing.</span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> </span>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m supposed
to sing at a funeral on Thursday but just don’t know if that will happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have a backup plan.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I just wish
Dad didn’t have to go like this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wish I
had more time with him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I selfishly want
to talk to him more, but don’t want to keep him from resting.”</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It was a long
night, but time seems suspended when one is in the grips of situations like
this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was so unsure what to do.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I didn’t know whether or not I should try to
sleep in the chair or if I should get back in my car and drive the nearly 60
miles home.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the end, I drove home,
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’ve mentioned
before that my litmus test for going was whether or not I would regret it if
something happened to him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those three
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and it didn’t make sense for him to continue as a shell of who he had once
been.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The biggest question was whether
or not I was ready to let him go.</span></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-27537345894215211452013-04-30T07:00:00.000-04:002013-04-30T07:00:06.584-04:0040<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Today I turn
40.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m not too sure how I feel about
that yet.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Plenty of people have told me
that they thought I was younger, which is a compliment to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve never necessarily been one to act my age
and I don’t intend to start anytime in the near future.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having kids later in life can have that
effect on you.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I’m moving
into a new decade, and frankly, I haven’t been too happy about the last years
of this last decade.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My early 30s were
good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was only a few years into my
marriage.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We hadn’t yet started our
family, so there was a whole lot of freedom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We enjoyed each others’ company.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Of course, 3 kids later, we still have fun and enjoy each other, it just
takes a little bit….okay, a lot of intentionality to find that time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love my kids, but I often wonder if I am
competing to be the “Worst Dad Ever” when my patience runs thin.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOjPScvEs41UU1DM98vwFlwPf9ufXRW_oP2FtYTVkHfXraacaJ72mjzlL49Jrju0Ae9oikPPvn2KX2SXA-fbc9uxNZVtzF-AAfl0OvD6prMQ4bMvkRFmYV9j93ZYMjlpHEQI7XmNLcoz8D/s1600/gibsons+circa+1974+-edit+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOjPScvEs41UU1DM98vwFlwPf9ufXRW_oP2FtYTVkHfXraacaJ72mjzlL49Jrju0Ae9oikPPvn2KX2SXA-fbc9uxNZVtzF-AAfl0OvD6prMQ4bMvkRFmYV9j93ZYMjlpHEQI7XmNLcoz8D/s320/gibsons+circa+1974+-edit+2.jpg" width="284" /></a></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My late 30s,
on the other hand, have been difficult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The
last few years have not been kind to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In my late 20s, I struggled with Lyme Disease.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my late 30s, I have struggled with some of
the effects of Lyme Disease and the treatments that I had for it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In some ways, I have felt that I have aged
significantly in the last few years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Somehow I made it out alive, but there was more than one occasion that
it was in question.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’ve not pulled any
punches recently in telling people that losing both of my parents within 21
months of each other, shortly into their retirement, all before I turned 40 has
been very difficult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was hoping to
have had so much more time with them.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, here I am,
entering into this new decade.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I guess
that I can look at it as a new start with new opportunities.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My hope and prayer is that some of the
difficulties that I have experienced might be helpful as I try to assist others
who may be in the throes of their own personal tragedy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will all have to endure losses, I have had
my fair share of those that have given me a heightened sensitivity to others in
the same or similar circumstances.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Someone asked
me the other day whether I had any “Midlife Crisis” events planned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I haven’t really considered it too much.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t make enough money to go out and buy a
fancy car.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love my wife and family and
believe that marriage is a lifetime commitment, so I don’t even want to consider
some of the things that other men might consider.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I say that, I’m certainly not claiming
to be better than them, because God knows my imperfections, but I do want to
strive to be a consistent Christ follower.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, it’s down to things that are limited in their cost and which will
have minimal impact and zero negative impact on my family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I have some things in mind, I guess I will
reveal them when the time comes.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, I guess I’ll
just approach this birthday like I have approached so many before this, with
little fanfare.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It will be a day for my
family and those who love me to celebrate the day that I was born, and then I
will move on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>May this next decade take
me to new places and new heights, to places where fear is left behind and where
I can pursue my passions with reckless abandon.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Stay tuned, we’ll see how it goes.</span></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-59379721854252994352013-04-29T07:30:00.000-04:002013-04-29T10:09:25.344-04:00Thanks, Dad<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Dear Dad,</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I thought I
would write you just to follow up on the conversation we had the other
day.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I told you how much I loved you and
how thankful that I was for you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I also
told you how I couldn't have asked for a better father.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I meant everything that I said, but even
though I knew that you were leaving, I guess it always comes sooner than we
expect, and that's just what happened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>So, let me say a little more that I didn't get to say the other day.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Thanks for
being a model of a man of integrity to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You always showed me to be consistent and to always live as the child of
God that I claim to be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You were always
honest and truthful, even when it wasn't the easiest thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People might have looked at you funny when
you showed that integrity, but I was looking too, and you showed me a lot.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span>Thanks for standing up for your
convictions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While we didn't always
agree, I am thankful that you stood for things and that you did it with grace
and integrity.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPJXvh9NqZQq07qw0vBZSikLgW1_j1yXPnvq876VEPka-uPxhDE3iD9NfQTYXJbO7zPIb1LFxsK3NVicAxyK9sE4PkCJTgKA9NEqQ0awTWWmI25CJu6vxxNrdhVRZmbjz1LAPf3j544_UT/s1600/IMG_0157.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPJXvh9NqZQq07qw0vBZSikLgW1_j1yXPnvq876VEPka-uPxhDE3iD9NfQTYXJbO7zPIb1LFxsK3NVicAxyK9sE4PkCJTgKA9NEqQ0awTWWmI25CJu6vxxNrdhVRZmbjz1LAPf3j544_UT/s320/IMG_0157.JPG" width="320" /></a><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Thanks for
caring for Mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that you always
struggled to find the right words to say, but your words were more right than
you realized.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You relied on cards and
letters to say things that you felt like you couldn't say face to face, and
Steve and I have found more and more examples of just how much you loved
Mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks for always striving to be a
better husband and for admitting your shortfalls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that things at the end were hard, but
you had been through an awful lot and I don't fault you for being tired.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Thanks for
showing me that my call to ministry was from God and that people's opinions of
me shouldn't sway that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You never
considered yourself an eloquent preacher yet you preached with determination
and focus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You never considered yourself
a brilliant man, but the size of your heart made anyone forget that (even
though I don't think it was very true.....Dr.!).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You pressed on despite the many obstacles
that you faced all along the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over
the course of 40+ years in ministry, you took your fair share of licks, but you
continued to press on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over the course
of 9 years in ministry, I've taken my own share, but I am constantly reminded
of you and it helps me to push on.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
Thanks for being transparent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>You were always honest with me about what you saw as your
shortfalls.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That's not something that
you encounter every day and I have done my best to use you as a model.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While I never idealized you, I always thought
that you were pretty special.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember
the compassion that you showed when Grandma was sick and you broke down at the
kitchen table because it reminded you of all that you had been through with
your own mother.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks for not hiding
your tears, they spoke to me in volumes that have left an indelible mark on my
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In fact, when we said
"good-bye" to you at the cemetery, your grandsons and your other son
came around me when I shed tears of my own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thanks for giving me permission to cry in life's difficult situations.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
Thanks for being forgiving.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
remember when I hit the house with the car on my 15th birthday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I confessed that it was me and not
Steve's friend, you simply said, "You're a jerk, go to bed."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That line has gone down in our family
folklore and I expect it will continue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I also remember when someone bought tainted grape juice from the CVS
next to your church and some people got sick during communion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Police investigations finally<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>discovered that the bottle was tainted by a
disgruntled employee.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead of meting
out justice on him, you offered him the same forgiveness that we have received
through Jesus Christ, even calling the employee's mother and offering words of
comfort and encouragement to her.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You
were forgiving to a fault sometimes, even when Mom thought that you should have
spoken up more, you took the same approach that Jesus did, humbly receiving
what was thrown at you without opening your mouth in defense.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
Last week, I read a note that you had written to me just a few months
after my first son was born.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You said
that you hoped that I would avoid some of the mistakes that you had made.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Considering all that you came from and all
that you had been through, I think that you did a pretty good job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Like I said to you, I could not have asked
for a better dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You always showed me
unconditional love and, even though it was slightly embarrassing, thanks for
kissing me good-bye every time that you dropped me off at school, even into
middle school and high school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can
only hope that my boys allow me the same luxury.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am so thankful that I never wondered
whether or not you loved me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br />
Well, I could probably write a whole lot more, but I'm going to close now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks again for all that you did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I look forward to telling my kids all about
their grandpa and how much he meant in my life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I did my best to always tell you how much you meant and you did the same
thing for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks for always telling
me how thankful you were for what I did for you, especially towards the
end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always wished that I could do
more, but I thank you for understanding.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
I will miss you until I see you again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I'm glad to know where you are, but it's hard not picking up the phone
to call you, hard to not be able to hear your voice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I've got a few voicemails from you that will
have to suffice for now.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
Enjoy the rewards that you have earned and the gift that you have
received by grace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Give Mom and everyone
else hugs for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'll look forward to
the day when I can tell you all of this face to face.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
I love you!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
Jonathan</div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-84211827284119393062013-04-25T07:30:00.000-04:002013-04-25T07:30:03.814-04:00Convictions<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Wishy
washy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Ever changing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Lacking convictions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Flighty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Fairweather.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are many terms
that we can use for those people who fail to hold to any beliefs or convictions
with firmness.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do we stand up for what
we believe in, even when it is an unpopular view or we receive criticism?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Do our convictions disintegrate when we face
opposition?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
My parents were people of conviction, they held firm to their beliefs,
and that stance was somewhat unpopular to those who held convictions opposite
to theirs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My parents and I would not
always agree on everything, but there was a mutual respect there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They knew what they believed, could support
it with more than, "That's just what I believe," and they were
consistent.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikos0wLVs6y9vTTR1hUN2Ma97gvr6wSxhlCQO_cK5itQ2s_rB7wMCfZUVsvXzY5NZqhM6VFaX-ZvT9GhIpSvK1lbBCabzFIla9wB4OEiUZ-8LUxaoEA7rxRDEdE2lCfzvtRC8xPrN7hbhG/s1600/passion+and+life.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikos0wLVs6y9vTTR1hUN2Ma97gvr6wSxhlCQO_cK5itQ2s_rB7wMCfZUVsvXzY5NZqhM6VFaX-ZvT9GhIpSvK1lbBCabzFIla9wB4OEiUZ-8LUxaoEA7rxRDEdE2lCfzvtRC8xPrN7hbhG/s320/passion+and+life.jpg" width="320" /></a> </div>
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I had a conversation with someone yesterday who had struggled with my
father's convictions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>From their point
of view, I completely understood how this could be the case.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My father gave his life to the Gospel of
Jesus Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His desire and passion was
to see people come to know who Jesus Christ is and to allow the transformation
that can only come about through Jesus Christ to invade their lives and take
over, not in a creepy, "I'm possessed" kind of way but in a "I'm
submitting to the One who saves me" kind of way.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
Please understand me, my father was not perfect.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I actually lived with my parents until I was
28 years old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It saved me lots of money
and it also gave me insight into who my parents were.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I appreciated their honesty and
transparency.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course, I was the
"baby," so I probably never fully saw everything, no matter how old
you get, if you are the baby, your parents will always try to protect you from
something.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It can be both endearing and
frustrating at the same time.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
But my parents were consistent, a rare trait and quality in today's
world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How many of us have been
frustrated while in public we observe a parent reprimanding their child with
idle threats that they never carry out?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>How many times have we heard someone stand up for something in the
privacy of a conversation only to remain silent when in a public forum?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Worse yet, how many times have we heard
someone decry beliefs or behavior in public and observed them committing the
very acts that they had decried while they think that no one is looking?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
While we didn't always agree, my parents were consistent, and I
appreciated that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think that it is so
important for us to hold to our convictions and to understand what we believe
and why we believe it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can't force you
to believe what I believe, although I would like to convince you of it, but I
can certainly hold to my convictions and allow them to be lived rather than
simply spoken.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
There are plenty of people who speak as if they have strong
convictions and fewer who actually live those out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would much rather have people know my
convictions by how I live than by what I say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Sure, it's important to speak your convictions, but if there are not
actions to support them, are they really worth the air that we are using to
utter them?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
Mom and Dad have left a legacy for many people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When one surveys the landscape of their life,
a key question is to ask whether or not they left an indelible mark.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I ask that question of my mother and
father, I can answer with a resounding, "Yes!"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am, as many others are, proof of it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>May my convictions be evident in both what I
do and what I say.</div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-4612013452769375432013-04-24T07:30:00.000-04:002013-04-24T07:30:02.474-04:00Fuel For the Fire<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha1yJF8lOzv3T57AZQaglmokM8XousNgM72yxEz9toY1DlqTvKRxqcV-cfSlsX55UssUBDBbk0NOvdHwM-gxhdKy2G7JaAsIV759p0jk_ebblWgXzic_Na8daKc1AX2ihMFhDvnxh2MYX9/s1600/storytelling-quote.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha1yJF8lOzv3T57AZQaglmokM8XousNgM72yxEz9toY1DlqTvKRxqcV-cfSlsX55UssUBDBbk0NOvdHwM-gxhdKy2G7JaAsIV759p0jk_ebblWgXzic_Na8daKc1AX2ihMFhDvnxh2MYX9/s320/storytelling-quote.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Writing is
therapy, at least it seems that way to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I find it interesting that my wife had prodded me to start this blog
years before it really began to serve a different purpose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Writing gives me the opportunity to
thoughtfully express what I am feeling inside, to transcribe the raw emotions
that I am experiencing, and to share with honesty and transparency.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My last two
years have been incredibly difficult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In
the midst of losing both of my parents, I have had to finish my seminary
degree, have had a third child, have been involved with a church split, have
been part of a church plant, have been executor and keeper of my father's
estate, and have had various other challenges that have faced me directly or
indirectly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The old adage that what
doesn't kill you makes you stronger has seemed more true than ever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only by the grace of God can I stand.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">All of this is
just fuel for my writing fire.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will
continue to write to bring healing and restoration to my soul.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I believe that we are a storied people, and
while we have lost much of the tradition and heritage of stories within our own
culture, we still cling to the power of story as we watch films, read books,
and seek out anything that seems interesting, inviting, and even similar to our
own lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Story makes an impact on us,
especially when we find that we can relate to the story being told.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My hope and
prayer is that God might use my story for the sake of healing in others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not the only one who has experienced
difficulty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am not the only one who
has struggled through hard times.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
when we come together and share our stories, we realize that we are not
alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We realize that we are together
in situations in which we thought we had been abandoned.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There is much
more to write and I will do just that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
will write as much and as long as it takes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My father was always one to tell stories.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I always loved to hear him speak of his years
of growing up or the trip that he took to Europe while he was in college.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He could tell stories and I loved them, even
the parts that seemed so dated and hokey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It was those stories that really revived him towards the end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">One of the
last times that he spent time in the hospital, I remember how one of the nurses
and the chaplain spent about an hour with us as Dad just told story after story
after story.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He loved having an audience
and he would craft the telling of the story according to the reactions of his
audience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In that way, I am my father's
son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do the same thing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After Dad had exhausted himself by talking, I
remember the look on the face of the nurse as she told me how amazed she was by
the life that she had seen in Dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
had been missing for so long, but these two beautiful people had given him ear
to weave his stories, they had shown him respect and love, they had given him
the gift of presence and of time.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We all need to
be loved and needed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In so many ways,
that's what I realized that Dad needed more than ever towards the end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were stories that I wanted to know more
about, but I also knew that he just needed to be loved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had lost his companion and his partner
amidst one of the most grueling journeys that he had ever been on, and he felt
alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the end, my prayer was that he
would not feel that way when he died.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It
broke my heart to think that he might die all by himself in his room with no
one there with him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a gift from God
it was to both of us that we were together when he passed through death into
life everlasting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love you, Dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How precious it was to spend those last hours
with you.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can't wait to hear your
stories again and to give you a great, big hug.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I miss you so much already.</span></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-45504355420790783882013-04-23T07:30:00.000-04:002013-04-23T07:30:01.801-04:00Dad<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
I had the privilege to speak at my father's funeral service. I was so fortunate to have so many friends and family there to honor the life of a man who had given so freely to others and who had served his God tirelessly. Here are the words that I shared.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
If someone had told me once upon a time that I would have
lost both of my parents within 21 months of each other, not long after they
retired, all before I turned 40 years old, I would have never believed
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The last few years have been the
most difficult years that I have ever had to face and while I know there are
others who have experienced far worse and more nightmarish situations, this has
been our experience to endure.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHoEDzEK6AQ7mVda11T9j0lZpPU-lQfSxNtWgqDdrnB_ltMKf_TItmffofrqgGWeyMS1CCw8_pbkeVC-5JyZFVnDkSaWGPamS5dSu9KnI0db6EMN1ErOPqR31uwfKoJMDcPozVMZTXzlvS/s1600/DSCN1383.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHoEDzEK6AQ7mVda11T9j0lZpPU-lQfSxNtWgqDdrnB_ltMKf_TItmffofrqgGWeyMS1CCw8_pbkeVC-5JyZFVnDkSaWGPamS5dSu9KnI0db6EMN1ErOPqR31uwfKoJMDcPozVMZTXzlvS/s1600/DSCN1383.JPG" height="320" width="240" /></a>Months before Mom died, we thought we would lose Dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After an incredibly difficult week with
multiple trips to the hospital with emergencies for my son, I had come to a
point where I was fearful to answer the phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We had already known that Mom's cancer was inoperable and that her time
on earth was short and one Thursday evening, the phone rang just as I had
mustered enough strength to go to bed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thinking that it would be Dad telling me something had happened to Mom,
I listened to my wife on our end of the phone, realizing that she was actually
talking to Mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dad had had a seizure
and they were calling the family around because they did not think he would
make it through the night.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I drove the 50+ miles between Mechanicsville and
Williamsburg, I pondered all that I had experienced.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I simply felt numb.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I arrived at the hospital and was greeted by
my mom and my aunt and uncle.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I was
allowed to go back and see Dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was
intubated and in critical care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Only
time would tell what would happen.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
made it through the night and pulled through, but little did we know that it
would be the beginning of a roller coaster ride for the next nearly 2 years.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Two days after my mom's funeral, I was on a plane to St.
Paul, Minnesota as I was completing my M.Div. at Bethel Seminary.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the middle of my week out there, I got a
phone call that Dad was in the hospital.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>His heart rate was causing some problems and they admitted him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He reassured me that he was fine and that
there was nothing to worry about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Easy
words to say, harder words to do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Among the most difficult times was when Dad was transferred
to MCV in Richmond from Sentara here in Williamsburg in December of 2011 about
a week before Christmas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The week or so
that he spent there felt like an eternity as he experienced all kinds of problems
and I had thought that he had literally lost his mind.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was hardly the place that Steve and I
wanted to spend Christmas, but we were grateful to still have Dad around.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He transferred to Patriots Colony in January of 2012 and we
were unsure of what the future would look like.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>While he was able to drive for a while after that, he eventually
relinquished his keys and the loss of that freedom was just one more chink in
his heavily beaten up armor.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More and
more chinks followed as his level of care rose and his ability to do things for
himself diminished.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over the last few
months, phone calls from the nurses telling me that Dad had fallen became
routine for me at 7:30 in the morning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
struggled with what I needed to do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWKcR8QLZoGMDR8gO_TAF0dCpgTTDDM8W5G6A3fUwPa-FecVWyx6iA6KokYHckaVDpea_CgWex9g2exJBPxb5r0-gRLnwRXzOE62oJb8hw-hPjkC3ajdXV-tMviABBLlNo-GyQ_OhheU-J/s1600/IMG_0155.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWKcR8QLZoGMDR8gO_TAF0dCpgTTDDM8W5G6A3fUwPa-FecVWyx6iA6KokYHckaVDpea_CgWex9g2exJBPxb5r0-gRLnwRXzOE62oJb8hw-hPjkC3ajdXV-tMviABBLlNo-GyQ_OhheU-J/s1600/IMG_0155.JPG" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But all of this turmoil was nothing new, Dad had experienced
an incredible amount of turmoil all through his life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His father was an abusive alcoholic who left
home when dad was young.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thankfully, his
older brother, Bill, protected him and unfortunately took the brunt of the
beatings that my grandfather gave out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He grew up having to constantly endure the prodding of peers and even
adults who thought him nothing more than a juvenile delinquent and good for
nothing because of his dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Yet, both he
and his brother rose above their circumstances to be successful.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Even in church ministry, a place where we have been known to
shoot our wounded, Dad experienced pain, hurt, and rejection.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When my mother experienced difficulty during
her pregnancy with my brother, instead of coming alongside of them to support
them, the church Dad pastored decided not to renew his call but asked him to
seek other employment.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When he first arrived in Darien to serve Calvary Baptist
Church, a group within the church led an exodus out of the church, hurling
accusations at my father and taking a number of people away from an already
small church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He quickly learned that he
would need to change his approach towards ministry in order to simply survive
in Darien.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So, that's what he did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>He embraced the statement, "In the heart of Darien, with a heart
for Darien" in the church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
jumped into his community headfirst, becoming a substitute teacher in the local
school system, serving on various boards and councils, singing and praying at
local events and parades, blessing the fleet at the local yacht club, and
participating in a townwide clergy group in hopes of crossing denominational
lines for the sake of the Kingdom of God.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dad was never one to shy away from controversy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For years, he wrote letters to the editor,
standing firm on his convictions, regardless of the opposition.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And opposition there was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He endured incredible public criticism, but
was never afraid to engage people in conversations, rather than debates.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He never tried to argue or beat people down
with his convictions, although he may have come on strong at times, he was
always willing to talk.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dad also hated change.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>In fact, I am not sure that I have ever met someone who was as averse to
change as he was.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I think it was a
combination of his own struggle to learn new things coupled with all of his
past experiences that caused him to seek solace and safety in the
familiar.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He liked routine, he liked a
schedule, and asking him to break from that was a sure fire way of introducing
chaos into his neat, little world.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Both
my brother and I experienced this countless times when we were kids and Dad
would have our road trip down south all planned out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God forbid anything should stand in the way
of us making "good time."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One time in particular, we were heading down to South
Carolina, driving into the night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dad
was determined to get to his destination for the night but the car had other
ideas.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The alternator on the car went
and we were forced to empty the car of our belongings, seek solace at a truck
mechanic, and find a ride to a nearby hotel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Never one to spend a lot of money on lodging, we stopped at what Dad
probably thought was a fine establishment since it was AAA rated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mom, Steve, and I were fearful of being
carried away by cockroaches as we slept.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But we endured.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Since Steve and I
refused to sleep in the same bed, my parents ordered a cot and it was Steve's
turn to sleep on it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While setting it
up, he laid down on it and it closed in half on him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We were all hysterically laughing as Steve
picked up the mattress from the cot and started attacking me with it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This was the life of our road trips, lots of
time, lots of games, and lots of laughs.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we would take trips up to Camp of the Woods in
Speculator, NY, the five hour drive seemed eternal for my brother and I, so we
would inevitably start peppering my dad with the question, "How much
further?" or "Are we there yet?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My dad would constantly tell us that it was "just around the
bend."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
While he made the best of his aversion to change in his
earlier years, that same aversion made his last years so difficult.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Things did not end well in Connecticut when
the church that he had served for more than 36 years wanted change and Dad felt
the pain of his comfortable world being threatened.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Both he and Mom struggled in their last few
years in Darien because of the way that they were treated, but Dad, always one
to think the best of everyone, endured the pain of rejection despite Mom's
constant urging to speak up.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the end,
it felt more like a forced retirement than a choice and they made the most of
it.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That was really the beginning of the end for them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>By the time that they left Connecticut in
November of 2010, rather than an excitement and anticipation for things to
come, there was a sense of recovery that was necessary for both of them,
especially Dad, as he licked his wounds and sought healing from the hurts that
he had faced.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dad fell into a deep
depression.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFEN_08Jfyo5pmW8YdmPxWeS3IiBLaaISbA845gL-jlDsnAFZSNuIBKXSfBaTWrhXM0sl7xLiZsQud263sM9sPdaa1fU6dAhROhpOg6axffCnea5DG5EICWSXG_aMX-opWSTffUSD7vZ9_/s1600/tony+and+irene+-+carrie+and+jon+wedding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFEN_08Jfyo5pmW8YdmPxWeS3IiBLaaISbA845gL-jlDsnAFZSNuIBKXSfBaTWrhXM0sl7xLiZsQud263sM9sPdaa1fU6dAhROhpOg6axffCnea5DG5EICWSXG_aMX-opWSTffUSD7vZ9_/s1600/tony+and+irene+-+carrie+and+jon+wedding.jpg" height="320" width="209" /></a></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mom was excited about Williamsburg, and Dad was moderately
excited, although with a significant amount of anxiety.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was leaving behind all that he knew, all
his friends, the congregation that he had invested in, and the familiarity of
his surroundings to try to embrace something new.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He had connected with a counseling center
here and was hoping to minister to military in Norfolk and the surrounding
area.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God had given him a heart for
counseling and a heart for the military and he wanted to use those passions to
help those who had served, especially the ones returning from combat situations
in the Middle East who were experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Mom and Dad were excited that they would be near their
grandchildren.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They would be able to be
part of so many things with their grandchildren that they knew their own sons
had not been able to experience because of the young age at which they lost
their grandparents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Birthday parties,
graduations, school programs, church programs, there was excitement at all that
they would get to experience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But that
changed so dramatically on January 31, 2011 when Mom was diagnosed with
pancreatic cancer, just 2 months after their move from Connecticut.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After all of the changes that Dad had experienced, here was
yet another gut shot that doubled him over and sent him reeling from the
pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So many people were frustrated
with him for what seemed to be a lack of strength and endurance, and yet I
could see that this man had weathered so many storms by this point and
depression had set itself so deep that it almost seemed unrecoverable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I began to realize the importance for myself
and so many others of being aware of depression and all of the effects and
impact that it can have upon a person.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We were all grateful for my aunt and uncle, Audrey and Roy
Jester, during this time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They were able
to hold Mom and Dad up just like Aaron and Hur, holding up the arms of Moses to
allow for the success of the Israelites.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I'm not sure what we all would have done had they not been by our side
in the midst of the chaos and storms that we experienced.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dad had a pacemaker/defibrillator installed for his heart
shortly before they left Connecticut.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Although the doctor said it wasn't essential, he recommended it should
my dad's heart weaken, which it eventually did, but not due to normal circumstances.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Dad had stayed fairly active, swimming at the
YMCA on a regular basis and eating the healthy meals that my mom prepared for
them, but it was more than just a physical thing that Dad was dealing with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Depression digs down deep and impacts all of
who we are, and that's just what it did with Dad.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
As I was
getting ready the other day, I came across a song by Brian Doerksen called,
"Will You Love Me in the Winter."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The words for the song struck me so hard because they seemed as if they
could have been penned by Dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
Changes bring
a chill, as the last leaves fall, and the winter closes in.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
I try to stay
warm, but it's hard alone, in the dark night of my soul.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
My heart
aches, I feel numb, I struggle to go on.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
<br />
When my body breaks, when my thoughts have failed, will you love me still,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
Will you love
me still, in the winter, in the winter?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
<br />
I remember spring, the thrill of budding life, now just a faded memory.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
I gave what I
could, did my best to serve, now there's nothing left to give.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
My flesh
fails, my thoughts collide, this question lingers.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
<br />
When my body breaks, when my thoughts have failed, will you love me still,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
Will you love
me still, in the winter, in the winter?</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
<br />
Dad had come into the Winter of his life, he was beaten and battered, and he
was questioning so much of what had happened all along the way.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While he still kept his faith, he
struggled.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He was deep in depression and
every attempt to rescue him seemed to fall flat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did my best to lead him in directions that
might be useful, a grief recovery group, a private counselor, invitations to
our senior hymn sing at the church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Others made efforts, but Dad continued to struggle.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
I would come
over to Williamsburg from Richmond as often as I could and spend time with
him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We would go out to lunch, run
errands, go to the doctor's office, and do various things that he needed
done.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although he was away from his
townhouse, it brought him comfort to go back there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mom's fingerprints were all over it, even the
smell, so it was probably a bittersweet experience for him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would also drive him over to the cemetery
once he was unable to drive himself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
spent many painful moments at Mom's grave as I tried to convince him how much
God had used him throughout his lifetime.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I named so many people whose lives had been forever touched and changed
because of my dad's willingness and obedience.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Relationships were restored, addictions were cast aside, marriages were
repaired, Christ was found, all because of the obedience of my father and my
mother.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcCSfolLok_E0I7r1jjmmrFwVsNFUzM1r3XmvJ4iV7m1NEblQxJApp66Ek108ZMYCARQ8GBS5zYGg44FbqJ92Jo7d94HW7SWNWYDbXngd5tyjbvAcNOD7e5J-XO-SEszgkNGBukgdYO2zU/s1600/gibsons+circa+1974+-edit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhcCSfolLok_E0I7r1jjmmrFwVsNFUzM1r3XmvJ4iV7m1NEblQxJApp66Ek108ZMYCARQ8GBS5zYGg44FbqJ92Jo7d94HW7SWNWYDbXngd5tyjbvAcNOD7e5J-XO-SEszgkNGBukgdYO2zU/s1600/gibsons+circa+1974+-edit.jpg" height="221" width="320" /></a>I call them
trophies of grace, those people that God uses us to touch in our lives.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I look out today and as I have read the
comments from people on Facebook, I am only catching a small glimpse of the
lives that have been touched by my parents.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>While things in Connecticut did not turn out the way that Dad had
planned, he made the most of them and eventually trained so many people to send
them out.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They went all over the place,
to California, Missouri, Washington, North Carolina, Florida, Virginia, Cambodia,
New York, and so many other places.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As
ineffective as Dad felt at the end of his life and as much as I was unable to
convince him of this, I knew that God had used him in a mighty way.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
Everywhere
Dad went, he would meet someone that he knew, it didn't matter where.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even when he moved to Patriots Colony, he
soon found out that he knew the father of the chaplain, Janna Roche, as they
had served in Conservative Baptist churches in the New England area.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Hours after Dad had died, I saw Janna as we
were walking out of Patriots Colony for the last time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She told me what I had already confirmed in
my head, that she thought Dad had died of a broken heart.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not only was that literally, but figuratively
as well.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
The day that
Dad died, I was prepared to stay by his side until the end.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thankfully, everyone at my church had been
incredibly supportive, in fact, my two fellow pastors drove down here with me
and spent the morning with Dad and me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>After they left and after my wife and daughter left, I was all alone with
Dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having seen the signs of decline
with Mom, I knew that he did not have long.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I read Scripture to him and I began to sing some of his favorite hymns
to him, all the while reassuring him in his ear that my brother, our families,
and I loved him and knew that he loved us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I told him that he had fought hard enough and that he didn't have to
fight anymore.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mom was waiting, and more
importantly, so was Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>An hour after
a visit with Camper, I was singing Softly and Tenderly Jesus Is Calling when
Dad breathed his last and entered into the presence of Jesus.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1fdi0UtUIdHa7uC4PtzpHrNlWTfDlq_B6PPsUsZi26_-f4tgoqihunXWO1uWbptKaBMif458vqz-_HpvWIQCxPHHgo-zcmmnih-R0-t0lnKpcNp4Mlo_I5bkwd-FB44z0KgX72MvJVYSM/s1600/tony+and+irene+wedding.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1fdi0UtUIdHa7uC4PtzpHrNlWTfDlq_B6PPsUsZi26_-f4tgoqihunXWO1uWbptKaBMif458vqz-_HpvWIQCxPHHgo-zcmmnih-R0-t0lnKpcNp4Mlo_I5bkwd-FB44z0KgX72MvJVYSM/s1600/tony+and+irene+wedding.jpg" height="320" width="254" /></a>I hurt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I grieve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I mourn, but not as one who has no hope.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My father gave his life for the sake of the Gospel and while I wish it
had ended better, I know that Paul's words to Timothy are true.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I read them at my mom's funeral just 21
months ago, and they are appropriate today as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>2 Timothy 4:6-8 says, "<sup>6</sup> For
I am already being poured out like a drink offering, and the time for my
departure is near. <sup>7</sup> I have fought the good fight, I have finished
the race, I have kept the faith. <sup>8</sup> Now there is in store for me the
crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me
on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his
appearing."</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; mso-outline-level: 5;">
Dad, there is
no doubt in my mind that you have been welcomed into the presence of Jesus with
the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You are no longer in pain, you have no more
doubts, you have been made whole, and you see things, not in part, but in full.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will miss you tremendously, but I long for
the day when we will see each other again, face to face in the presence of our
Savior.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I love you, Dad.</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-84852234547187336812013-04-19T07:30:00.000-04:002013-04-19T08:22:38.412-04:00No Regrets<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLL5DUf6RPImTHCwXvJQj1QDaDs9Y4EngZW_JR2r6CQxguV4oQPUIW7KqTlBt0KuUiPR2nNylu5U6kzlg6jbds7IxnO4NlSxTs0f2D6RTsV8RMcChHRyrZx8awPe7h7BFeQ3T9sZOJhJqy/s1600/2013-03-31+16.51.23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLL5DUf6RPImTHCwXvJQj1QDaDs9Y4EngZW_JR2r6CQxguV4oQPUIW7KqTlBt0KuUiPR2nNylu5U6kzlg6jbds7IxnO4NlSxTs0f2D6RTsV8RMcChHRyrZx8awPe7h7BFeQ3T9sZOJhJqy/s320/2013-03-31+16.51.23.jpg" width="180" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">It's been a
difficult few years since my mom passed away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>To be honest, it wasn't just my mom's death from which my dad never
recovered, it was a whole onslaught of things that had happened before they had
even moved from Connecticut to Williamsburg, but that's a story for another
time (actually, my wife thinks that I might write a book on the last few years
of my life).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I have had the
flexibility to be able to travel back and forth to Williamsburg to be with my
dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We enjoyed lunches together at his
favorite place, Ruby Tuesday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Once in a
while, we would live on the edge and go to Panera Bread.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My dad always had a sweet tooth and would eye
the pastries at Panera with a craving look.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Of course, I knew that he wasn't feeling great when he didn't even
consider them anymore.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Once in a
while, I would bring him by the cemetery to visit my mom's grave.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm not sure if I did it for both of us, I'd
like to think that I did.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had some
very difficult moments there as he would sit on his Roll-Aider and I would
stand or kneel with him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There were
moments that seemed unbearable, probably for both of us, as we stood or sat
there contemplating all that life had handed us.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">What I saw in
those moments was a tired warrior who had been beaten down by the storms of
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My dad seemed a shell of who he
had once been and he needed me to be his advocate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That prompting changed my approach towards him
for the remainder of his days.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did my
best to avoid a selfish approach towards our times together.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I savored the moments that I had and tried
not to push too hard.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Somewhere
along the way, I imagine that it was my wife, the counselor, who gave me the
litmus test for making decisions when it came to Dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Every time that I had an opportunity or felt
a prompting to go and be with him or see him, I would ask myself, "If I
don't go and something happens, how would I feel about it?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did not want to live with regret, at least
regret that could have been eliminated had I followed my gut instincts.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Up until Dad's
final breath, that's exactly what I did, I seized the moments that I was
capable of seizing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My emotional and
physical energy bank has been running on empty for some time with all that I have
endured, so I knew that I still needed to maintain my own physical and
emotional health in the midst of it all.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There were times when I had to say 'no' because I knew that it would
push me over the edge, one way or another.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>There were times when I had to say 'yes' even though I knew it would
push me over the edge.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Even the night
before Dad died, my wife and I had been anticipating (maybe it was just me who
was anticipating) a Bob Dylan concert that we had planned months in advance.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had resigned myself to the fact that, if
Dad died, I would be okay with that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thankfully, he lasted through the night and I was able to spend the
entire day with him prior to his homegoing.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">One of the
"grace" moments that I realized in the midst of this all was that I had
been with both of my parents as they breathed their final breaths.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>On the way home from Williamsburg the night
Dad died, I asked my wife if I had over-romanticized their deaths.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am an arranger by nature and I wondered if
I had tried too hard to arrange the perfect situation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the same time, I am confident that God's
grace extends to us and He knows what we need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I felt like He gave me exactly what I needed with both of my parents.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I was blessed
to be with Dad when he passed and I was singing "Softly and Tenderly Jesus
Is Calling" when he breathed his last breath.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Honestly, I could not have asked for much
more other than having had my brother with me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Dad is no longer in pain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He is
at peace.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>His temporary sufferings are
just a flicker compared to the glory that he is experiencing in Jesus Christ.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My heart will
continue to feel broken and incomplete and I will continue to mourn, but I have
no regrets.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sure, I wish Dad and I could
have talked more and I could have heard more stories, but there will be a day
when stories can be shared.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the
meantime, I put my hope and trust in God alone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I grieve not as ones who have no hope, but as one who trusts in the
resurrection of Jesus Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What a
glorious day that will be when we are reunited.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I love you Dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Tell Mom I said
hello and I will see you guys sometime in the blink of an eye.</span></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-37552933805199484812013-04-18T07:30:00.000-04:002013-04-18T07:30:04.354-04:00Grace in the Midst<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw6lhfvpumDso_mYhIV8yAZ1FfZYRclKlRKb4jHARO4ywTKS0DDPqInyEfG0cc6a1_fK7QSk_uPncQDg3bLUKJ4fOR4A615b5whgLoO8sLLNadW94QMRCGdfUpMuO9cLws_72CQcv5T0PN/s1600/3+Generations+of+Gibsons.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw6lhfvpumDso_mYhIV8yAZ1FfZYRclKlRKb4jHARO4ywTKS0DDPqInyEfG0cc6a1_fK7QSk_uPncQDg3bLUKJ4fOR4A615b5whgLoO8sLLNadW94QMRCGdfUpMuO9cLws_72CQcv5T0PN/s1600/3+Generations+of+Gibsons.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">There are
plenty of people who have endured far worse than me, I am completely aware of
that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the same time, we only know the
feeling of what we experience ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Empathy may give us a twinge of the experiences of others, but we can
only truly know what an experience is like when we endure it ourselves.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I never
thought that I would have lost both of my parents by the time that I was 40
years old.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had dreamed of such a
different life for them than what they experienced over the last few
years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They had dreamed of a much
different life than what they experienced.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">While there
are many things that I am grieving over, I have been marveling at God’s grace
to me during this time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I waited for
the funeral home to come and pick up my father, I stood there thinking not
about how bad it sucked (although it does suck pretty badly) but at some of
that grace that I felt like I had received.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Here are just a few.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">1)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
had the privilege of being with both of my parents when they passed from this
life to the next.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That doesn’t happen
every day and I know that there are many who were not afforded that same
privilege.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am grateful that I was
there.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">2)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
have had the flexibility of a job that has allowed me to work from remote
locations over the past two years.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thanks to modern technology, much of what I do as a pastor can be
accomplished in “The Cloud.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Anywhere
that I can get internet access, I can work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That has been a Godsend.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">3)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Smartphones.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have felt completely “in touch” with access
to email and other things through my phone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I have had so many things at my fingertips that I never would have
believed.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">4)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My
aunt and uncle have been the greatest champions of all to my family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have humbly and quietly served with no
desire for accolades or gifts, but what they have done has been nothing less
than shining Christ’s love to me and my family.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Thank you Audrey and Roy.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">5)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>My wife has been a strong support for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has done whatever it is that she can to
help me and has not complained.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She has
put up with my mood swings as I have been grieving for quite some time over
both my mom and dad.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her empathy and
compassion as well as her counseling background have proved priceless.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; margin-left: .5in; margin-right: 0in; margin-top: 0in; mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-align: justify; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">6)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";"> </span></span></span>My children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Holding my little girl as my father’s body was loaded into the funeral
home van was comforting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their smiles
and craziness have brought me back to the reality that they are still here and
in desperate need of a father to love them, just like my father loved me.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
I grieve.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I mourn.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am broken.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But in the midst of it all, God has still chosen to give me glimpses of
His grace in ways that I can hardly believe.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am thankful and grateful, even as I hurt.</div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-38807768994073181982013-04-17T08:37:00.002-04:002013-04-17T08:37:40.580-04:00Confessions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I
have a confession to make.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I
doubt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I doubt that God
exists.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I doubt the call on my
life.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I doubt that life has a
purpose.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sometimes I doubt there's much
worth doing at all.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Some
people might think me a heretic for those doubts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some people might condemn me for that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some people might write me off and wonder how
I can be an effective pastor having had such doubts.</span></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But...</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Some
other people are drawn to this.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some
other people find life in knowing that there are others who struggle and
doubt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some other people will be moved
at my ability to be honest and authentic.</span></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Recently,
Rick Warren lost his youngest son to suicide.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Amidst all that he has gone through, he tweeted this:</span></div>
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I only hire staff who've been hurt deeply. People
who've never suffered tend to be shallow and smug about other's pain.<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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How true he is.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some of the
people that I love most deeply are ones who have lost and hurt and
suffered.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A friend who lost his 6 month
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old daughter.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A friend who has watched
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<br /></div>
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I would dare say that these very people have also doubted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have most likely sat in the stern of the
boat during a storm and wondered at the outcome as the storm raged around
them.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They have watched the whirlwinds
turn about them and questioned whether there was salvation for them in the
midst of it all.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I have doubted.....</div>
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<br /></div>
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but.....</div>
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I have never stayed there in my doubt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>The writer of the book of Hebrews writes, "<span class="text">Therefore,
since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off
everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run
with perseverance the race marked out for us,</span> <span class="text"><span id="en-NIV-30215">fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.
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<span class="text">I do not doubt today, but I will doubt again.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I do, I will not apologize, but I will
be confident that the One who provides hope and assurance will lift me out of
my doubt and show me salvation.</span></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-72184598129429302262013-04-10T08:13:00.000-04:002013-04-10T08:13:04.954-04:00Identity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Where do you
put your identity?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is a question
that's been on my mind a lot lately.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Lots of things have been driving me to ask this question.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's amazing how often the question of identity
comes to the forefront in different places in life.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">When we meet
people, one of the first questions that we ask them is, "What do you
do?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Identity is often found in our
job or occupation.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We ask each other
where we are from or where we went to school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We find identity in the places from where we come.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We find identity in the things that we do and
the accomplishments that we have made.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sometimes, we
find our identity in our family of origin.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This was the case with me when I had my first real identity crisis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For years, I had grown up as the pastor's
kid, Tony's son.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everyone knew my dad
and associating myself with him was an easy connection for many people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They immediately knew who he was and could
make the association quickly.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The problem
was, in my efforts to make those connections and associations, I lost my own
identity.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remember introducing myself
to people who I had recently met through InterVarsity as, "Jon, my father
is a pastor."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It wasn't until a few
years later that I realized the ramifications of those statements and
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">In reflecting
on this with a friend, I was unpacking it all out loud.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We threw ideas and thoughts back and forth
until finally, one of said, "As believers in Christ, if we put our
identity in anything other than Christ, it can be taken away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But nothing can take Christ away from
us."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Reminds me of Paul's words at
the end of Romans 8.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What can separate
us from the love of God?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Nothing.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If we are
followers of Christ, we can put our identity in a lot of good things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our families.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Our churches.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Our worship styles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But those things, as good as they might be,
are not the best thing to put our identities in.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They can easily be taken away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And when they are stripped away from us, what
is left of our identity when it has been steeped in these things?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What are we left holding?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Paul's words in
2 Corinthians 5:17 speak this loudly.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
are new creations in Christ.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The old has
passed away.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have a new identity that
cannot be taken away from us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No one can
steal us, there's no fear of identity theft.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We are made new and we have identity protection.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Where do you
put your identity?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If it's anything
other than Christ, it can easily be taken away and what will you have left when
it is?</span></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-79279549972623451082013-04-02T07:30:00.000-04:002013-04-02T07:30:01.339-04:00Decisions, decions, decisions<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNUID1vrbDXhHlSkaqkRqC6syFf-MDckFxVFOD5kiPidZEXGzP_YGrQOUP5xc1aNQgEpqBuZ6aPk6dyc-iIBTXj0FJkhBIgoaD-cSCJHO_XI1UOuC7NCWQkf2j-cw2wexWNL4UApLgSC5B/s1600/magic8ball.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNUID1vrbDXhHlSkaqkRqC6syFf-MDckFxVFOD5kiPidZEXGzP_YGrQOUP5xc1aNQgEpqBuZ6aPk6dyc-iIBTXj0FJkhBIgoaD-cSCJHO_XI1UOuC7NCWQkf2j-cw2wexWNL4UApLgSC5B/s320/magic8ball.jpg" width="306" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Life's full of
decisions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some are simple and
easy.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some are complex and hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We probably wish that we had something like
one of those Magic 8 Balls to help us when it comes to times in our lives when
we need to make decisions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How nice
would it be if those decisions could just be served up to us on a platter,
ready for the taking?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But would that
really be a good thing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Decision-making
is a journey of sorts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We go through a
process to try to determine what the right decision is for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the process of deciding, we learn, we gain
wisdom and insight, and we are hopefully different by the time the decision is
made.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Sometimes life
hands us decisions that need to be made quickly and in a timely fashion.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other times, we have the luxury of being
intentional and deliberate as we navigate through the decision-making process.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we have that opportunity, to prayerfully
and thoughtfully discern, we need to seize it and take advantage of it.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
Sometimes, it's very helpful to have many counselors and much input
for decisions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Other times, it's not.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Proverbs 15:22 says, "Plans fail for
lack of <span style="mso-bidi-font-weight: bold;">counsel</span>, but with many
advisers they succeed."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the same
time, if we read the story of Job in the Bible, we saw the "counsel"
that he received from his friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Counsel like that can help to cloud and muddy the decision-making
waters, rendering us more confused than when we started.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
Decision-making in the world of Christians can get even more
complicated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We often dress up our
decisions with spiritual language.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>"I need to pray about it" or "I'm seeking the Lord's
guidance."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Those are true
statements and if we honestly want to honor God with our lives, we need to be
seeking Him in the midst of our decisions, but we need to be careful that when
we use these phrases that we REALLY do what we say we are going to do.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
Too often, I think, we throw those phrases around just to make ourselves
look spiritual.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Having been there
before, I know that there have been times that I have told people that I am
praying about something and then forget to do just that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That kind of approach isn't God-honoring at
all.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
In fact, James gives us encouragement and instruction in our times of
need.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>James 1:5-8 says, "<span class="text">If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously
to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.</span> <span class="text"><span id="en-NIV-30273">But when you ask, you must believe and not
doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed
by the wind.</span></span> <span class="text"><span id="en-NIV-30274">That person
should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.</span></span> <span class="text"><span id="en-NIV-30275">Such a person is double-minded and unstable in
all they do.</span>"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God wants to
help us in our decisions, so why do we fail to take Him up on His offer?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Why do we continue to do things on our own?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span class="text">Speaking from experience, I would guess that the
number one reason why we do this is because we are afraid.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It feels like a loss of control.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We're not so sure that we want to put big
decisions in the hands of someone else, even if it's the God of the universe
who created and formed us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We would much
rather hold on to it ourselves and think that we have control.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span class="text">And what happens if we get that wisdom that He
promised and the decision that we feel that we are being led to isn't the one
that we had hoped for?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What happens when
things don't turn out the way that we want?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>That's where James gets to in his letter, we need to believe and not
doubt.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Part of that believing is that He
will truly help us as we make decisions and that the end result will be what is
best for us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We need to trust that God
has our best interests in mind and trust His guidance, even when the end result
doesn't seem like what we expected or even wanted.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span class="text">Life's full of decisions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What's the process that you're going to take
in making them?</span></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-58374117223349484032013-04-01T07:30:00.000-04:002013-04-01T07:30:06.775-04:00Leaders Lead<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I've been
around enough leaders in my day to know that there is one thing that leaders
seem to have trouble doing: leading.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I've seen this more often than not within the church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Leaders lead.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Problem is, we
are broken people who want convenient leaders.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We want people to lead when we don't want to take the responsibility
ourselves, when it's convenient to pass it off, when it's uncomfortable to take
the leadership ourselves, when the outcome will not adversely or seriously
impact us, when the results of decisions don't matter to us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But as soon as we are heavily invested in the
results of decisions, we stand up and take notice, we have major concerns about
the direction of things.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">We certainly
see this on a national level.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People
seem apathetic and unconcerned about the direction of things until you hit on
their "pet" issue, then a firestorm erupts and they become involved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trust me, I've been in this place myself in
the past.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I remain disconnected and
unconcerned until something happens that has implications to me and then I
somehow wake up and start paying attention.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Where was I
leading up to the decisions?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was I
praying?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was I actively taking part in
the process?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was I asking questions,
remaining concerned and connected?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Did I
feign trust in those who were leading me?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Did I simply not care?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">All of us lead
and all of us are led by others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We will
all have opportunities to lead some and follow others.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What are we doing in those times?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are we remaining connected, at the very least
through prayer, in decisions that are in the hands of our leaders?</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1 Timothy
2:1-2 says, "</span><span class="text">I urge, then, first of all, that
petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people—</span>
<span class="text"><span id="en-NIV-29719">for kings and all those in authority,
that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.</span>"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We are to be praying for our leaders, whoever
they are, whatever they believe and support.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Funny, the Greek words "panton anthropon" mean "all
men," same as they mean in English.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I guess that means ALL.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span class="text">When things like this strike me, 99.9% of the time
it's because I am feeling some conviction myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I confess that I have not been diligent in
this area.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I need to do a better job
praying for those who lead me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Presidents,
senators, congressmen, governors, representatives, pastors, teachers, mayors,
elders, whoever they may be, I need to be praying for them. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I'm praying for them and they frustrate me,
at least I know who to complain to.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If
I'm not praying for them and they frustrate me, I have to ask myself why I've
dropped the ball up to that point.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span class="text">So, think about your leaders, whoever they may
be.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Have you prayed for them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Interceded for them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Offered thanks for them?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If not, like me, what are we waiting for?</span></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-74613057359277185912013-03-29T07:30:00.000-04:002013-03-29T08:28:45.440-04:00Affirmative Action<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7XvXYAECD9jdljqTuZpyLLHy6hsZY-Rii3uF5b5V2s0H_6xFQEmngSPMjhcAOJ5vxAi6qLuzFFKpbNjehydeApHEwfG4QDViLhPPpvgJfJs-QFzfMrWsghf3b918u7peuCvt6gol42Rlw/s1600/abbie_conant.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705467711119310946" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7XvXYAECD9jdljqTuZpyLLHy6hsZY-Rii3uF5b5V2s0H_6xFQEmngSPMjhcAOJ5vxAi6qLuzFFKpbNjehydeApHEwfG4QDViLhPPpvgJfJs-QFzfMrWsghf3b918u7peuCvt6gol42Rlw/s320/abbie_conant.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 259px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 320px;" /></a><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> 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In a leadership class I took for my Master's of Divinity degree, we used a book entitled "Leadership: Theory and Practice" by Peter Northouse.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Based upon its price on Amazon, I would guess that it's a typical textbook for business classes, describing varying approaches and models of leadership.</div>
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One of the chapters towards the end of the book is all about women and leadership.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I read through the chapter, my mind constantly wandered to what I really think about this topic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's somewhat of a volatile issue to me and has the potential for getting people on both sides of a debate fairly worked up.</div>
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I was raised with a mom who was very much the typical 1950's mom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Her family was the most important thing in the world and she did whatever she could to ensure that the kids would be all right and Dad could keep working.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She eventually went to work in the public school system as a teacher's aide for over 20 years, but she never really outgrew the gender roles that had been defined by her in her past.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I certainly would not consider to have been a "doormat."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>She had a voice and was willing to allow it to be heard, but she had some strong opinions about the role of women in leadership.</div>
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As I began to explore options other than the ones that my parents had conveyed to me, my parents and I developed a healthy and loving debate over the issue of women in leadership, primarily when it came to the church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My parents adhered to the "women should be silent in church" mentality, believing that men should hold the primary roles of leadership within the church.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While all of this deeply impacted my ideology and thinking, it certainly did not cause me to make decisions without having thought them through myself.</div>
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When I left my engineering career to follow after God's call on my life and enter into full-time vocational ministry, I served in a church where this was not an issue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Their ideology was much the same as that of my parents: women had no real place in the leadership of the church other than as Sunday school teachers and nursery workers.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was during this time that I really began to ask myself some questions that began to get me into hot water.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The ironic thing is that I had not even formulated an opinion, I was simply asking the questions.</div>
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Now, I've always been one to play the devil's advocate.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's part of my personality.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If controversy doesn't exist, I may be the one to create some just to liven things up a little bit.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After all, who doesn't enjoy some good old fashioned passionate debates once in a while?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Friends have referred to it as the social equivalent of throwing a grenade into a crowded building.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While that might be a little extreme, I can't deny that I have, on more than one occasion, thrown the figurative "grenade" into a crowd and sat back to watch and enjoy the chaos that ensued.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I started this in high school and haven't really stopped since.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After a personality analysis, I was labeled a stabilizer/de-stabilizer.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can you guess which one I tend towards?</div>
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Anyway, as I moved through high school and then college, the time grew nearer to when I would need to look for a full-time job.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As that time approached, I began to realize that I fell into a difficult place as an educated white, protestant male.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unlike today, there were more jobs out there, but there was this thing called affirmative action and equal opportunity that mandated a certain number of positions to those who were considered minorities.</div>
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I eventually got a job and the idea fell out of my conscious mind because it just wasn't something that I faced on a regular basis.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Recently, it has surfaced again, in no small part due to this leadership class.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>At the same time, it has been a hot button topic for many of the denominations in whose circles I run.<br />
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A while back, I read a book by Malcolm Gladwell called "Blink."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I blogged about it not too long ago <a href="http://coarpk.blogspot.com/2011/12/blink.html">here</a>, so you can read what I wrote.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Many of the stories within the book fascinated me, but one that stood out to me above the others was about a woman who had become a member of the Munich Philharmonic Orchestra as a trombonist.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Auditions were held behind screens and the members of the committee who selected the musicians were shocked and astounded when they realized that they had selected a female.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>They thought that there had been some mistake, but the screen had forced them to listen with their ears rather than their eyes.</div>
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As I read the story, I was intrigued to think about what the equivalent of a screen might be when it came to jobs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>How could a search process be done with applicants "behind a screen?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Was it possible for people to analyze applicants for a position based upon the things that matter rather than the things that don't?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Wouldn't that be so much more effective than mandating the number of positions required to be filled by females or certain ethnicities?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But how could it be done?</div>
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I used to argue with a pastor who I worked with that morality could not be legislated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We both came down on different sides of that argument and finally agreed to disagree.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When we attempt to legislate morality, people may have a tendency to resent that morality and all who subscribe to it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In the same way, when we legislate who should be hired, do we not endanger ourselves from doing the same thing?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But what is the alternative?</div>
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As I mentioned before, I have never fallen into the category of a minority, though I someday may.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If I did, I would much rather know that I had gotten a job because I was the best person for the job, not because someone had to fill a quota.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I would much rather know that out of all of the qualified candidates out there, I was the one that was chosen because someone thought that I was the best person for the job.<br />
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As I think through this, I can't help but think about Jesus' approach towards people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He broke cultural and gender barriers, which were a bigger deal during his time than they are for us now.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He saw past the stereotypes and saw the value of the underlying human being.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Legislate it or not, the only way that we can even come close to "behind the screen" decisions is to allow ourselves to be changed to be more like Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If we want to see things less tainted and skewed, we need to exchange our view for the view that Jesus has.</div>
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I certainly haven't figured this all out, and I am not so sure that I ever will.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I do know that I always want to be in a place where I am working with people who are there because they are the best people for the job that they are doing.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can only hope and pray that my eyes might see more the way that Christ sees than the way that my flawed and sinful self sees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I begin to see as Christ does, I will begin to impact the world in much the same way that Christ did and still does.<br />
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Postscript:<br />
It's been pointed out to me that this is an oversimplification of the
concept of affirmative action, and I am beginning to understand that
more and more. There have been major injustices done in our country
that we are still trying to live down and make right. Unfortunately,
it's not an overnight event to right these wrongs, but a process and I believe that
affirmative action can be helpful for us to rethink the way that we have
made decisions in the past. While an oversimplification and extreme
approach to it could suggest filling a quota, the broader sweeping view
of it is that it keeps us in check and helps to prevent us from making
some of the major mistakes that we have made in the past.<br />
<br />
This post is really addressing the extreme view of it and a desire to see people be given a chance because we look past color of skin, gender, physical limitations, etc. and look to abilities, skills, talents, and qualifications. We could all use a "screen" sometimes when we make decisions as our own preconceived notions and assumptions color our view of situations and people. May we all work towards looking at people as creatures made in the image of God. That alone will add value to everyone we look at, seeing them as God sees them.<br /></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-92146428497622277222013-03-28T08:50:00.001-04:002013-03-28T08:50:57.506-04:00Sacrifice<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Today is
Maundy Thursday.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I was a kid and I
heard the term, I couldn't understand how it could be Monday and Thursday at
the same time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Over time, I realized
that I was mishearing the term and that it actually referred to the day when
Jesus celebrated the last supper with his disciples.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It really wasn't until I was in more Reformed
circles that I really started celebrating Maundy Thursday.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">From Maundy
Thursday through Easter Sunday, so much happens to Jesus.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He goes from celebrating the Passover meal
with his disciples to praying in the garden, getting arrested, tried,
sentenced, and then crucified.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He dies
faster than the average crucifixion victim and is laid in a tomb.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Easter morning, his friends and family find
the tomb to be empty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In just a few
short days, everything has changed and Maundy Thursday begins the whirlwind of
those days.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As I think and
reflect on everything that Jesus accomplished in his time on earth, I marvel at
the fact that he lived in obscurity for three decades before he began his
public ministry.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Then, in three short
days, God accomplished through him what we could never accomplish on our
own.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>IN 3 SHORT DAYS!</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Unfortunately,
this Holy Week has been distracted.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We've turned our eyes, hearts, and minds towards other things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We seem to have lost sight of the fact that
we are celebrating something much more important in God's sacrifice, we are
celebrating the one who gives us the freedoms that we enjoy, the one who has
showed us what unconditional love is all about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It's not about physical attraction.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>It's not about lust.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's not
about our rights.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's about
sacrifice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sacrifice regardless, even
when we don't feel like it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even when it
is not returned.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Even when it leads us
to dark places.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Jesus'
sacrifice provided a means of restoration and reconciliation between us and
God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>A means of restoration and
reconciliation for people who were still actively rebelling against him, who
were spitting at him, cursing him, and hurling false accusations at him.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was given while we were still sinners,
before we had been regenerated.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Before
we had turned towards God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That is
unconditional and sacrificial love.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Our culture
does not show us many examples of this kind of love.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It seems that so many are distracted by
looking at whether or not their own needs and rights are met.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We're more concerned whether we will get
everything they want rather than whether or not someone else will get everything
that they need.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I am
guilty.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am a hypocrite.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I lack a sense of sacrifice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am selfish.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But I do not need to be this way simply because it's my default
position, simply because of the nature with which I was born.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Christ came to make a difference, to be the
sacrifice so that I might learn to sacrifice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If I think I can do it on my own, I am deluded and wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can only accomplish this with Christ in me.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As we roll
through this holy week, take time to think about the sacrifice.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Are we basking in the grace of that sacrifice
only, or are we doing our best to pass it on, to let others know of the
sacrifice made for them as we model it through our own sacrifice?</span></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-30053915098819812652013-03-27T07:30:00.000-04:002013-03-27T07:30:01.582-04:00Replicating An Experience, Part II<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, here are
the 7 sets of questions mentioned in yesterday's posts.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If you missed Part I, just click <a href="http://coarpk.blogspot.com/2013/03/replicating-experience-part-i.html">here</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I welcome feedback as you may be wrestling
through some of these same questions.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">1) What do I
do in my private times of worship?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When
I carve time out of my day to spend time alone with God, is music as big of a
part of that time as it is during my corporate worship time?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Honestly, music is just a huge part of my
life in general.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I am constantly
listening to music and I know that much of that time could be considered
"private worship."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There are a
lot of my own musical preferences that cannot be accommodated in a corporate
setting, and I have learned to live with that.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Is it possible that I reserve my own preferences for private worship
times and anticipate that corporate worship might be the time when I need to
allow for others' preferences to take precedent?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">2) Do I like
every aspect of every meal that I eat?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
have 3 young children.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Mealtime can be
very interesting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can't count the
number of times that my children debate my wife and I about certain aspects of
the meal.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We have told them countless
times that our house is not a restaurant and that they do not have the luxury
of having meals served up to their liking every single night.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I probably did the same thing when I was
their age, but over the years, my tastes have changed and as I have allowed
myself to try different foods, I have grown to appreciate, not necessarily like
or love, foods that I once detested or even loathed.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it possible that in our growth and
maturity we might find ourselves being more open to different kinds of
"foods" as we come together corporately?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">3) Tagging off
the last question, is it possible that we won't be moved, touched, or feel
spoken to by every aspect of every corporate worship service every time that we
come together?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>If that's the case, can
we be okay with that?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I might come to
corporate worship one Sunday and feel like I heard the greatest message ever
but the music fell flat based on my own preferences and desires, maybe even my
mood.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Another Sunday, I might show up
and feel that the music was so uplifting and helped me to worship while the
sermon did not really speak to me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Does
that make me a bad person?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can I be okay
with the fact that I don't get what I want every time that we corporately
gather?</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">4) Who is
worship for?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The Westminster Shorter
Catechism answers the question of what our main purpose (or chief end) is by
answering that we are to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Worship is about giving glory to God.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I think through this, I can't help but
think back to the story behind the song "Heart of Worship" by Matt
Redman (click <a href="http://www.crosswalk.com/church/worship/song-story-matt-redmans-the-heart-of-worship-1253122.html">here</a>
if you have never heard it before).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Despite popular belief, worship is all about Him and we do it every
waking moment of every day if we truly heed Paul's instructions (1 Corinthians
10:31).</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">5) When we
change music styles to accommodate our culture, are we "dumbing down"
the message of the Gospel?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Finally, the
$1,000,000 question.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some people would
say "yes" and some would say "no."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't think so, but I could be wrong.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Paul was aware of his cultural surroundings
in Athens when he spoke in Acts 17, making cultural references that he knew
would connect with the people whom he was trying to reach.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I certainly wouldn't say that Paul
compromised the message of the Gospel, but he certainly understood his context
and changed the "container" in which the Gospel was housed in order
that he might get the message across in a way that made sense.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
6) Are we defined by a style more than we should be?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will be honest and confess, I hate the word
"blended" as it refers to corporate worship.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is the most vague word that has the potential
for misunderstanding, misconception, and disappointment.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My own experience has shown me that people
see it as a 50/50 split in styles, which ends up disappointing everyone.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Is it possible that we allow our corporate
worship to be purposefully directed towards God with purposeful, well-though
out, and deliberate elements that are placed within the context of the service
because they focus us on the object of our worship, God, rather than on the
method of meeting Him?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Recently, I have
compared blended worship to affirmative action, we place elements in the
context of a service because we need to meet a quota rather than because there
is purpose and meaning in its place in the order of things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>
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7) What would happen if people asked the question, "What does
this song/drama/video/hymn/anthem/etc. have to do with the theme of the
Scripture for today?" rather than asking, "Do I like it?"<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would it help us in any way?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Would we seek purpose and meaning beyond
style and preference?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What would happen
if we began to ask not whether or not something ministers to us but if it
ministers to someone else?</div>
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I will continue to wrestle with these questions.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>People have been trying to come up with
adequate answers to them for more years than I have been alive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know that everyone has opinions about them,
and that's fine.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>God has created us to
be subjective beings, that's part of who we are.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Can we allow that subjectivity to help us
answer these questions without skewing them according to our own
preferences?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That might be the
$2,000,000 question.</div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-76572688500354069392013-03-26T07:30:00.000-04:002013-03-26T07:30:03.502-04:00Replicating An Experience, Part I<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlzHljChMy3drnmgOGq8CyWm9OHN5in8IZw8ial_ohHJCeAOcrsk9bkCa0L6ug-FmN2_JcwwsNMrzomIUpj_RgIiyVxSgcttZFl5-uQT5fuj5rFFCVNkPJuG-ZB36q0Ii6oSzXS0jT_Xae/s1600/Worship+Wars+edit.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="187" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjlzHljChMy3drnmgOGq8CyWm9OHN5in8IZw8ial_ohHJCeAOcrsk9bkCa0L6ug-FmN2_JcwwsNMrzomIUpj_RgIiyVxSgcttZFl5-uQT5fuj5rFFCVNkPJuG-ZB36q0Ii6oSzXS0jT_Xae/s320/Worship+Wars+edit.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My church has
been wrestling through an issue that has run rampant in the church for years:
contemporary versus traditional worship style.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>We all came out of a church where there were two different worship services
with two distinct worship styles.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Although people were comfortable and led with the styles that were most
conducive to their own personal preferences, there was an overwhelming sense
that we were a congregation that felt disconnected from one another.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">One element of
that disconnectedness is the size.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When
churches reach a certain size, it will be increasingly more difficult to fight
against the disconnectedness because there are so many people.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That's a good problem to have, but a problem
nonetheless.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">But the other
element of the disconnect is feeling that we can all come together at one time,
in one place, with one style that will unite us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have struggled for years as to whether or
not I think this is a "pipe dream" or if it can really be
achieved.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unfortunately, it seems that,
while there may be a few people who take comfort and joy in a corporate worship
service where the worship music style is more of a mix between the historical
and the contemporary, the overall consensus is that people will eventually grow
tired of the compromise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My own
experience has shown me that when some people say that they want a blended
service, they really mean that they will tolerate the style that they are not
in favor of in order that their own preference can take a front seat.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While there may be some who generally can be
led in either style, they are a small minority.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">My own
stylistic preference is eclectic, at best, and scattered at worst.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I have had seasons of my life where I have
been in more traditional services and I was able to worship there.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But, truth be told, during those times, I
also had places where I could regularly go and be a part of a contemporary
style as well.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I found a rhythm that
worked and those who wanted separate and distinct styles were able to
corporately worship in those specific instances and places.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">As I think and
wrestle through this issue, I have no choice but to wrestle through it in
myself.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's hard for me to remember a
time when I did not have a significant part in leading corporate worship
services, but I am trying to ask myself questions to help myself try to find
some resolution to this issue, if that's even possible.</span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in; text-align: justify;">
<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">So, tomorrow,
I will post 7 sets of questions that have helped to challenge me as I have
wrestled through this. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>See you then!</span></div>
Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2571296038401395494.post-22984025516681091962013-03-25T07:18:00.000-04:002013-03-25T07:18:26.907-04:00Dying to Self<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxq-GL0yPPJ4OB7WoUhmhNGF3ZBF8kTs1WVDdTZJJ-7gwe2i2HsJ3yNARH0fMnFAEiRQV_4IYMzZELBHFmio1XJBLsvjbrLFUffaONngSvUW1rZFeaj3jPEvgEEj0ut075n2Xm70mz4yfp/s1600/RIP+self.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgxq-GL0yPPJ4OB7WoUhmhNGF3ZBF8kTs1WVDdTZJJ-7gwe2i2HsJ3yNARH0fMnFAEiRQV_4IYMzZELBHFmio1XJBLsvjbrLFUffaONngSvUW1rZFeaj3jPEvgEEj0ut075n2Xm70mz4yfp/s1600/RIP+self.jpg" /></a></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">I am a selfish
person.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Although I can come across as
giving and caring, at the heart of who I am, my default position, is to care
for myself and my own needs.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I can
disguise it, dress it up, and pretend it's not there, but eventually, someone's
going to see it.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I'm going to be found
out.</span></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">If I live my
life according to the message that our culture gives me, it's probably not a
huge problem for me to be so selfish, as long as no one else gets hurt, and as
long as I pretend to care about all the things that everyone else seems to care
about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As long as my selfishness can
"be contained," I can pretty much do whatever I want and no one will
bother me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But things changed when I
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">The love that
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us to seek out ways that we can do likewise.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>But really, come on, those are just words, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When Paul wrote to the church in Corinth, he
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healing the sick kind, right?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He didn't
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<span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";">Ouch.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Not sure about you, but that hit me square
between the eyes.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Paul's words to the
Galatians make this clearer, "</span><span class="text">I have been
crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I
now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave
himself for me."<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As a follower of
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<br /></div>
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<span class="text">Here's the rub for so many people though, they think
that if we no longer live, then we lose ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>That's exactly Paul's point, we should lose
ourselves, or at least the parts of us that need changing and refining.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>There's this backwards idea among Christian
circles that a profession of faith is the end, it seals the deal, you're into
heaven and there's nothing to worry about.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Fact of the matter is that it's just the beginning.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Sanctification is a process, not an event, we
will continue to be sanctified until we are finally complete in Christ and made
new.</span></div>
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<span class="text">I think that we pick and choose where we think it's
all right for us to die to ourselves.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We
pick the safe places, the comfortable places, the places that don't require a
ton of work on our parts, and if we really do all that, are we really dying to
ourselves?<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don't think so.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's kind of like people giving things up for
Lent, if it's something that they don't really care for, can it really be seen
as "giving it up"?</span></div>
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<span class="text">There are places in my life where I can easily die to
myself, and others that are really hard.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If I try to do it myself, I'm going to fail every time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It is not me, but Christ in me that compels me
and allows me to die to my own selfish desires.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>If we're really honest with ourselves, we will find that there are
hidden pockets of selfishness running rampant in our lives, those are the
places that God wants to get a hold of and change us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It's not comfortable, it's not easy, and it's
not often fun, but in the end, we'll look a lot less like the selfish people we
are and a lot more like the followers of Christ that we claim to be.</span><span style="mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></div>
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Jon Gibsonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14796920086775737813noreply@blogger.com0