Starting Out

Yesterday, a friend challenged me in the best way possible.  My recent blogposts have been challenging.  This friend was asking me some hard questions about what I was doing not only to challenge others but actually model those challenges myself.  While it wasn't the most comfortable conversation because it required some serious self-reflection on my part, it was necessary.

Throughout the rest of my day, I kept thinking it through.  The biggest struggle that I have found sometimes is just starting out, finding the best point to kick things off.  The reality is that it requires humility, which if we're all honest, we struggle with.  So, I've got to start small and do what I can do.  The problem is that I want results yesterday, I don't want to wait for them.  It takes time and intentionality to improve.  Sometimes the task seems so insurmountable that the idea of starting somewhere is simply intimidating.

More than once in the last few months, I have been told that I have no margin in my life.  This didn't come as a shock to me, I was pretty aware of it before anyone had brought it to my attention.  I have been working on a second Master's degree for 4 years and that ends in December.  I have been dealing with the death of a parent as well as the health struggles of the other parents.  There have also been more than a few challenges in my day to day ministry work.  While I am not naive enough to believe that the world changes in December when I finish my degree, I do know that things will be different afterwards.  Margin will not create itself though, if I want it, I have to find a way to make it.

In the meantime, I'm going to not only encourage others, but do my best to be challenged myself and model this.  It won't be easy, but in the end, it will be worth it all.  Not only is humility required, but time is as well.  I need to be intentional about finding time and space for conversations with people.  Conversations generally grow out of relationships and those take time to build.

As I think this through, I'm reminded of Dan Fogelberg's song "Along the Road."  I think the lyrics are an appropriate place to end this post.  We're all on a journey, hopefully we're learning as we go.  I hope that I am a different person than I was yesterday.  I believe that I can't do it on my own, but with God's help, I can do all things.  Hopefully, we can all meet somewhere along the road.

Joy at the start, fear in the journey

Joy in the coming home.

A part of the heart gets lost in the learning

Somewhere along the road.

Along the road your path may wander

A pilgrim’s faith may fail.

Absence makes the heart grow stronger, darkness obscures the trail.

Cursing the quest, courting disaster,

Measureless nights forebode.

Moments of rest, glimpses of laughter

Are treasured along the road.

Along the road your steps may tumble,

Your thoughts may start to stray.

But through it all a heart held humble levels and lights your way.

Joy at the start, fear in the journey

Joy in the coming home.

A part of the heart gets lost in the learning

Somewhere along the road.

Somewhere along the road.

Somewhere along the road.