It seems that much of life can
become a tug of war between ourselves and the reality of our surroundings. We constantly attempt to gain control of our
circumstances, especially when they seem to be spiraling out of control. We want to exercise our strength and at least
live under the delusion that we actually have the power, strength, and wit to
be able to control our circumstances.
But the reality is that we can no more gain control of these
uncontrollable circumstances than can a rock pick itself up and fly the length
of a football field.
It might sound defeatist, but I
think that the sooner we embrace the reality of our own lack of control, the
sooner we can embrace the freedom of rolling with our circumstances. In some ways, it reminds me of a car accident
and the resulting whiplash that might occur.
I have heard people say that if you are ever in a car accident, you
should just relax and wait for the impact.
That's so much easier said than done.
Every inch of our bodies wants to brace ourselves for that impact as a
means and measure of self-protection.
It's the tightening and tensing of our muscles that causes the whiplash
though.
Uncontrollable circumstances in
life can be very similar. In an effort
to protect ourselves from the results of the "crash," we brace
ourselves, thinking that we will be so much better off. We grab on to whatever we can put our hands
on and hold on for dear life, hoping that whatever it is we are standing on or
holding on will be strong enough to weather the impact. How many times have you braced yourself for
the impact only to find that what you were holding onto was not nearly as
strong as you thought that it might be?
I have thought a lot about the
Serenity Prayer in recent days.
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference." How often do we attempt to change things that
are completely out of our control? It's
that "control" thing again, we desperately want to have it and when
we realize that we can't have it, we fight and flail, kicking and screaming to
try to gain control that we never had nor can we ever gain.
But, like I said, the sooner that
we realize that control is not ours to be had, the more freedom we will
gain. To be honest, a lot of my faith
really comes from this place, the place where I begin to realize that I have no
control over certain circumstances in my life.
In fact, I have no control over many things in my life. I hit traffic on the highway and I have no
control over it. A major storm
interrupts my plans and I have no control over it. Disease withers and weakens those who I love
and I have no control over it.
Here's where my faith comes in: I
may not have control, but I know the One who does. It is not a sign of weakness, but a
realization and acceptance of reality. I
think about the disciples, riding their boat across the lake when a storm came
upon them. They did their best to control
the boat and keep it from sinking and finally, they gave up and woke Jesus who
somehow managed to sleep through the whole thing at the back of the boat. He wakes up and treats that storm as if it's
just an annoying little gnat, an inconvenience to his circumstances.
I'm certainly not saying that God
is going to come in and take control every time our life seems as if it's
spinning out of control, but if nothing else, when we walk through the valley
of the shadow of death, He is there.
When we climb up on the mountain, glimpsing all that we can, He is
there. And more importantly, there will
be a day when nothing will spiral out of control any longer.
In the meantime, I remember that
the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and
expecting different results. Attempting
to take control of uncontrollable circumstances is a surefire way to begin that
journey towards insanity, and I'm not really crazy about going there just
yet. May I accept what I can't change,
change what I can, discern the difference, and do my best to share the news
with as many people as I can. After all,
oftentimes those collisions that we experience aren't necessarily caused by us,
they may be caused by someone else, losing control...or just flailing around
actually living under the delusion that they actually had control to begin
with.
