Finally, after a very long month of trying to complete a 4 part blog
series on seminary, the dramatic conclusion: Was it worth it?
When I started seminary, I had only been in my job for about 6
months. I only had one child, but a
second one was on the way. My parents
lived in Connecticut at the time and had not retired. My church was still intact at the time.
Nearly five years later, things look very different. I have a new job as of last week. Many of the same people but a very different
look to what we're doing. God is on the
move and the question we continue to throw around is, "Are you
ready?" I now have three children
and the only way I'm having any more is through an act of God or by a movement
of the Spirit in my wife and my hearts to adopt. My parents retired and moved to Williamsburg,
my mother was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer 2 months later and was gone in 6
months. My dad's health is failing and
he will most likely not be around for a long time. Things look very different.
Everyone asked me what I would do with my free time when seminary was
done. Little did I know that I would be
part of a church plant who would be pushing 700 members right out of the gate,
but that has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God. Free time is not something that comes along
frequently these days. I'm reminded of a
line from Mr. Holland's Opus when Mr.
Holland was speaking to the gym teacher about what he would do in his free
time, to which the gym teacher laughed and responded, "I can't remember
the last time that I had that was free."
After all of the sacrifices, long hours, tears, heartaches, and
anxiety that went into this degree, was it worth it? Did the end justify the means? Would I do it again? Yes.
I am not the person that I was when I started. The process of learning was also a process of
transformation that worked in my life to change me, to form me, to make me more
into the image in which I was created.
This degree was not simply about checking off a box to me. Like I've said before, no one made me do it
and I am thankful for that. I am a
better man, husband, father, pastor, and friend because of what God has done in
my life.
It was not for the fainthearted by any stretch of the imagination. It took an incredible amount of discipline,
discipline that I would never have had if it were not for all of the
extraordinary circumstances in my life.
There were plenty of times that I wanted to quit, to take a break, to
put the whole thing off until life somehow normalized, but I didn't, and I am
grateful for that.
I went through the program at a pace all my own. I did not follow the exact route that had
been laid out for me by the school, but in seeing how God pulled everything
together, I have no doubt in my mind that the route which I took had been
ordained by Him. I could probably write
a book about the number of "coincidences" that took place between
life, ministry, and school. The things
that I was learning in life, ministry, and school somehow managed to overlap in
ways that I never would have been able to plan out on my own.
One case in point was the fact that my mother passed away just five
days before I was to depart for a week of class out in St. Paul,
Minnesota. I was so unsure what to do,
yet I knew that my mom had been my biggest advocate. She was always so proud of me and was always
pushing me a long, supporting me every step of the way. I knew, as did the rest of my family, that
had Mom been able to talk to me, she would have told me to go, do what I needed
to do.
That week of class was one of the most memorable weeks that I ever had
at Bethel. My professor and classmates
were gracious to me. The course material
was therapeutic for the moment of time in which I took it. Two of the greatest friends that I made
during seminary were with me during that week and were so incredibly
supportive. I can't imagine having been
anywhere else where I would have gotten near the support that I received that
week. When it came time to sharing our
thoughts about the week's class, I emotionally shared how blessed that I felt
having been surrounded by such an incredibly example of Christ's love.
Was seminary worth it? You
bet. While I was there, I connected with
four other brothers in Christ who have affectionately become known as "The
Nachos." God brought them into my
life to be an encouragement and support and I can only hope that I have been
able to provide the same for them. I
hope and pray that we will stay connected for years to come.
It was a hard road lined with blood, sweat, and tears, but I believe
that it accomplished everything that I had hoped it would and so much more. I can only hope that others might have a
similar experience when they finally decide to take on the same task. So, when do I start my next degree?
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