Submission, Part II

That dirty word “submission” really gets a bad rap. I remember hearing messages from Ephesians 5 where Paul tells wives to “submit to their husbands” because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. It’s funny, I remember hearing messages about that first part of the passage, but I don’t remember hearing the charge to husbands in the next passage. Maybe I wasn’t listening too hard. Maybe I zoned out. Regardless of what happened, it wasn’t until years after hearing some of these messages that I really looked at the rest of the passage.

I had heard complaints about this passage from mostly women. Looking back on it, I have to say that their complaints were justified. If you don’t take into account what Paul says after this, then you only see a portion of his definition and ideal for submission. After Paul writes about wives submitting to their husbands, look at what he says to the husbands:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

I really think that the reason that this passage evokes such strong negative responses is because of the lack of emphasis on Paul’s emphasis. There are 12 verses in this passage, 3 directed towards wives, and 9 directed towards husbands. Why has there been more of an emphasis on 25% of this passage without a stronger emphasis on the other 75%?

I can only speculate here, but I would venture to guess that it would be much easier for a woman to submit to her husband if she truly feels loved and valued by him. If she feels that he would give anything for her, wouldn’t she feel the same way in return? The husband’s responsibility is being compared to Christ’s love for the church. Christ gave himself up for the church in order that she might be made holy and blameless. Wives are to be top priority to their husbands.

Now, I slowly begin to slump down in my chair as I read through this passage. I realize how far short I fall when loving my wife the way that Christ loved the church. I realize that I have not taken my directive from the Lord as serious as I should. It becomes even more of a conviction as I realize that I have two little boys who will watch me and base their love for their future wives on what they see Daddy doing.

In my 8 years of marriage, I have never played the “I’m your husband so submit to me” card with my wife. I pray that in the next 50+ years of my marriage that I never will. If I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, I won’t even have to ask, it will be a natural progression. Submission is a two-way street and if it’s only one-way, then it’s not really submission. Husbands, we can redefine submission when we truly live out Paul’s words to us: to love our wives as Jesus loved (and loves) the church. When we start doing that, I think we will begin to see that mutuality of this word that has been abused and misused.

Husbands, may God give us strength and wisdom to know how to sacrifice ourselves for the wives that God has blessed us with, and that he uses to make us better servants of Him.

The Vilifed Villain

Unless you are complete anti-fan of sports and the media, you have probably heard at least something in the past week or so about Michael Vick being reinstated to play in the NFL and being signed by the Philadelphia Eagles. I have not been purposely following the public’s reaction to this, only eavesdropping. But I have seen a few different things that have really made an impact on me.

1) Tony Dungy is a remarkable man.

This coming from a New England Patriots fan. While he coached the Colts, I knew that Dungy had a fairly outspoken faith. He wrote a book that all Christian football fans seemed to “eat” up. My understanding was that Dungy, of his own accord, went to visit Vick in prison. Maybe he saw it as his responsibility to act as a spiritual mentor to Vick. The Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.” Tony Dungy has surely done this with Vick. Regardless of any personal feelings that one may or may not have for Dungy, what he has done is to be obedient to his biblical calling.

I know that there are some who have called him a “media hound” for having jumped into a situation that he was not directly involved in, but that is worldly talk. Remember Paul’s words that the gospel is foolishness to those who are perishing, the concept of what Dungy has done is so foreign to most people that it’s no wonder that they have accused him of being selfish, that’s the only way that some of them would have jumped into a situation like this, if they knew that they would get something out of it.

I believe that what Dungy has done for Vick is a model that the church can use in handling situations of accountability and church discipline. I can’t think of a more redemptive way of dealing with this situation than what Dungy has done. If our churches would only start fostering the kind of discipleship that encourages people to come and walk alongside people who have made mistakes, this world would be a much better place.

2) Michael Vick is not out of the woods yet.

While the road to recovery has begun for Vick, he still has a long way to go. There are so many skeptics out there who are probably just watching in hopes of seeing him fall again. I was having a conversation with some friends the other night and one of them mentioned that in getting involved with all the dog-fighting activities, he was just being true to the environment that he had been raised in, living the “thug” life. Can you take the “thug” out of Vick? No, but God can. That is what true transformation is all about, it’s the new creation that Paul speaks of, the putting off of the old self and taking on a new persona, the persona of one who is following hard after God.

I think that’s why the relationship with Dungy is so key. Vick is not going to succeed on his own, he needs help and more importantly, accountability. Dungy can be that for him if Vick allows him to be. I can imagine that Dungy won’t tolerate a lot though, he has been gracious, but I am sure, based on his coaching history, that he will pursue the goal of being a redemptive factor in Vick’s life as if both of their lives depended on it. While it would seem silly to me for Vick to even think about going back to his old ways of getting involved in any kind of activities involving animals and fighting, I have never been in his shoes before, and can’t even remotely understand what the draw was to it to begin with. But in plain and simple English: he would have to be an idiot to even think about going back there again.

Many people have said that there’s no such thing as a third chance, which again, is a fairly worldly concept, but I think it’s a fairly accurate statement from where Vick sits. To make another mistake of the proportion that he did before would only him to be completely ostracized by the world, more than he already has been.

3) Killing dogs vs. killing people.

At the risk of being put on PETA’s blacklist, if we cry out against killing dogs shouldn’t we also do the same for babies who are murdered every day? I am not saying that I support cruelty to animals, but what I am saying is “be consistent.” If we are going to make such a stand against hurting and killing animals, a stand which I think is well-justified, we should make equally or more of a stand for human rights. When we start valuing the lives of animals over people, we continue to show ourselves as to a world that has truly lost its way.

Michael Vick made a mistake, some would say that it was a stupid mistake, but he has paid the penalty that our court system has said that he needs to pay. He has been released from prison and hopes to become a “productive member of society” again. Can we stop vilifying the guy and start encouraging him? I wonder how the people who have been so adamantly outspoken against Vick would react if they were in his shoes, what would they do? Would they hope that everyone would vilify them as well, giving them no benefit of the doubt whatsoever? I doubt it. So, give the guy a chance, and if you’re a follower of Christ, pray for him, that he might stay on the path of righteousness.

4) Only time will tell.

Ultimately, only time will tell what will happen with Vick. He could become one of the greatest comeback stories in sports history. I think we all have smiled a little bit when we have watched those kinds of stories on TV. Vick has the opportunity to make a serious impact to the world, and especially to the younger generations. Unfortunately, we have elevated athletes to a place in our country where we discourage education in favor of millions of dollars. It seems like a no-brainer when you look at it, especially if you were raised with next to nothing. But here’s an opportunity for Vick to show some of the younger generation, who has idolized athletes like him, that everyone makes mistakes and not only admitting your mistake, but changing your lifestyle is essential to moving on.

Maybe you have seen the press recently on Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers. He was one of those stories. He made a huge impact at the 2008 All-Star Game and there were stories around where he had come from. He came back from an addiction to drugs and alcohol to be a signed Major League baseball player. And he’s a pretty impressive player, at that.

Apparently, last January, while preparing for the following season, Hamilton went into a bar to get something to eat. He ended having a drink that turned into about 10 or 12 drinks and was pretty wasted. Once the news broke that this had happened, people started coming out against Hamilton. They said that he should quit playing baseball, that he had committed the “unforgiveable” sin, and other wonderfully encouraging things.

Hamilton held a press conference to discuss what had happened, the details of what he said can be found here: http://rangersblog.dallasnews.com/archives/2009/08/hamilton-transcript.html
Josh’s wife said this in a statement on a blog, “Josh is a wonderful man, father and husband who happens to be human. We are all flawed and that's why we need a Savior.” More of her words can be found here: http://rangersblog.dallasnews.com/archives/2009/08/here-are-some-of-katie-hamiltons-thought.html

There seem to be a lot of similarities between Vick and Hamilton and I think that Vick can gain some insight from Hamilton’s success and recent mistakes as well. People will only be looking for Vick to fail, like it or not, he needs to be living a life above reproach, even taking Paul’s words in 1 Timothy to heart in how he lives. The slightest misstep on his part will “seal the deal” for him in the public’s eyes, and like Hamilton, Vick will be criticized and vilified even if he makes a mistake and admits it. So the best option is to just not make those kinds of mistakes anymore.

I really think that this whole situation is such a great example of the need for community within the Body of Christ. Despite what kind of advice the world might throw at us, we cannot live our lives as islands, independent of other people, and think that we will stay “clean and sober.” The only way to live a life that is above reproach is to make yourself accountable to someone. We are called to encourage one another and build each other up, that’s not a suggestion! Regardless of whether you know Michael Vick or Josh Hamilton, they are part of the same body and so, we should be praying for them.

My prayer is that God can use these guys with their successes and their failures to make an impact for His kingdom and His glory. Our treasure is in jars of clay, fragile and sometimes broken vessels which house the glory and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ who has saved us into the community of God. May we all learn to walk in community as we strive to live lives above reproach.

It's All About Me

I am a worship leader. Just about every Sunday, I lead the musical portion of the worship services at my church. I have been doing this full-time for 5 years and before that I had done it on a part-time basis for about 15 years prior. Despite this experience, I am constantly learning, constantly trying to implement new things, and always ready to acknowledge that as much as I have learned, I still have a long way to go.

In all of this time, I have seen and experienced a lot. I could come up with a fairly extensive and broad list of my discoveries, but I think I can narrow a list down to two things from a theological viewpoint of leading musical worship:

1) Worship leaders need to improve their theology
2) Worship songwriters need to write more singable music that promotes a holistic theology

It probably sounds harsh, but let me take each of these and explain.

I need to confess that I am far from perfect and I fall into all of the traps that the average worship leader can fall into. I find the latest songs and sing them because they are familiar. I choose songs based on what kind of energy they can evoke. I find “pet” verses that I can share instead of exploring Scripture for new ways to see and know God. I do not always strive to be as excellent as I should strive to be.

We, as worship leaders, cannot grow comfortable. Whether or not you lead music or preach or have a major part in your worship services, this is essential. Theology is “God Talk”, it is the way that we talk about and understand God. He is infinite and while we may appreciate certain aspects of who He is, we should never cease to find new ways of seeing Him and knowing Him. His mercies are new every morning and those mercies should be explored and sung about. The moment that we stop learning about God and who He is, is the moment that we should beware of our hearts becoming lukewarm or cold. He is bigger than we can imagine and his love for us is wide and deep.

We love to sing songs about how wonderful, faithful, gracious, and awesome that He is, but we often neglect seeing Him more holistically. Jeremiah, the prophet, wrote an entire book of Lamentations. He was known as the “weeping prophet.” The Old Testament prophets brought messages of peace and hope, but they also brought messages of judgment and wrath. There were calls to repentance and faithfulness. Where are those songs in our repertoires?

We want to sing songs that make us happy so that we can come out smiling like a certain Texan who shall remain nameless. We want people to feel good when they come to church so that they come back, or so that they will tithe generously. We want people leaving with a sense of “having met God” and having been embraced by Him.

I’m not saying that all of those things are bad, but is that all that there is? Are there not times that people should leave the presence of God having felt like Isaiah: that they were unclean and unworthy to stand before a Holy God? Our encounters with God should not be limited to the feelings that we leave with or the emotions that are evoked from us. Instead, they need to express the true and genuine characteristics of people who have deepened their relationship with the One who created them.

To be honest, I struggle with what this looks like for us in the church. This is a cultural shift from who and what we have become in the church and as long as it has taken us to get to this point, the solution will not take place overnight. That’s where the second observation comes in: we need to start writing music that begins promoting a holistic theology. We need to start writing music that doesn’t promote such an individualistic viewpoint of salvation and theology but instead, promotes the community of God that we are a part of when we come to faith in Christ. There needs to be less “me” and more “we.”

When we are saved through Jesus Christ, we are not only saved from the bondage of sin into which we were born, but we are saved into the community of believers, the church of Jesus Christ that transcends all time and space. We are saved into a community of fellowship, accountability, and faith. We can keep on singing songs about what Jesus has done for me, how he saved me, and how he loves me, but that’s not the whole story. We have to tell the rest of the story.

I would love to hear some thoughts about this process and what it looks like for other people and just how we might move, corporately, towards a more holistic theology in our musical worship.

Everything's Broken!

I will get around to the second part of my Submission post soon, but I felt that this topic was too important to neglect. I actually feel like this topic, in a strange sort of way, relates to the topic of submission, so I hope that it might act as a segue.

I was reading something the other day that troubled me. The conversation started with a question of why we attend church? To me, that’s a pretty fair and legitimate question, one that I have grappled with over and over. While I have struggled with the Bride of Christ on the earth, I have often gone back to a quote that is attributed to Martin Luther, “The church is a whore, and she is my mother.” I’m not sure if Luther was truly the author or not, but authorship is not the point, the fact is that the church is imperfect but she still belongs to me and I am still responsible to her.

The church is imperfect because she is made up of fallible and imperfect people like me. Yet, God chose her to be His agent of change in the world through the Holy Spirit. You might love her, you might hate her, but if you are a follower of Jesus Christ, you still have an obligation to be a part of her. I am not dictating that we all need to be a part of a mega-church, but I am saying that we need to be part of a community of believers that comes together for the sake of, among other things, worship and service. That's going to look very different depending on where we are geographically and culturally, but fellowship and coming together are essential parts of it.

The writer of Hebrews writes in chapter 10:
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

These are some great reasons why the “church” needs to continue to meet and exist: to spur one another on and to encourage one another. Do you see the “one another” there, not once, but twice? The church is not about you, it’s a community made up of individuals but not focused on the individual, but focused on a purpose which is much greater good than the individual. The church’s purpose is to build the Kingdom of God, God’s community on earth.

What troubled me the most about what I read were comments from people who had, at least temporarily abandoned church. They want to do church by themselves, giving money to the things that they want to give money to, serving the ministries that they want to serve, and doing things that, in my opinion, make the focus not outward but rather inward. They have couched their reasoning in language that makes it seem as if their motives are noble and I legitimately think that some of their motives are, but it still seems a cop-out to me.

As I read the comments about retreating from church I began to realize why divorce has become such a viable option for even those in the church. Instead of staying and facing the difficulty of redemption, reformation, repentance, and restoration, why not just bail and start over again? We run away instead of dealing with the hurt and making efforts to be part of the change. How is that a viable option? We serve a God who is in the business of redemption, not complete destruction and rebuilding. When the world was destroyed by the flood in Genesis, God made a covenant with Noah that He would never again destroy all living creatures as He had done. Yet giving up on “church” is disowning her as our mother and ultimately saying that God’s change agent on the earth is incapable of accomplishing His will. It seems to be questioning whether He can really do what He said that He would do through the people that He said that He would do it through.

I have been in church long enough to have seen that we have sufficiently screwed things up. Prior to my current ministry position, I have had my fair share of being "burned" by people in ministry who should have acted better and who should know better than to have done what they did. I have seen how our focus as the body of Christ has been distorted by things that we think are the issue when things that are happening right under our noses are not being addressed and confronted. But I still remain a part of church.

Are there times when it's legitimate to take a "break" from church? I have seen people who have taken a hiatus from church, I think that I have been one of them, and I have to say, I can't blame them. There are times when there have been sufficient hurts and healing needs to take place. All possible avenues for change have been taken and nothing but brick walls have been encountered. I just wonder if we stay and fight as hard as we could. I wonder if the efforts that we make mean have really brought us to a place where we should just abandon the church or if we should not instead seek out way that we can make a difference where we are, albeit small. We all want to change the world, but it's not going to happen in one swift action, it's going to happen one life at a time.

I often wonder if we have such a distorted ecclesiology (the doctrine of the church) that it would be unrecognizable to the 1st century church. But can’t God redeem it? In Scripture, He remains faithful and true to Israel despite her gallivanting around and “sleeping” with other lovers. Should we not remain faithful to the Bride of Christ?

There is legitimate criticism out there regarding church budgets and why we spend as much as we do on some of the things that we do. At the same time, there are churches that strive to be 50/50 churches, operating on 50% of their budget and giving the other 50% away. I'm not saying that we have "figured it out" when it comes to church and how it should be done, but just because we have not successfully found the balance does not mean that we pack up our things and say "to hell" with the institution.

Our own sanctification, our becoming like Jesus, is not something that happens overnight, despite what you may hear some people say. Why should we expect that the church is going to wake up one day and find that everything is perfect? There were issues with the church when it first began, there are issues with the church today, and I think that there will still be issues with the church when Christ returns, does that mean that we stop striving? Galatians 6:9 says, "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest if we do not give up." Persistence and perseverance need to be characteristics that followers of Jesus Christ exhibit.

Here’s a challenge for those of you who have given up on church or “organized” religion: why not be change agents within the change agent? Why not make efforts to see that God redeems His body? Why not pray that God might get loose and have His way? Even though many of us might think that we can objectively look at the church, our vision is still distorted by sin and we cannot see as clearly as we think that we can. The church is the church because it is made up of people who call themselves followers of Christ, if the followers of Christ on earth are not organized and representative of him, we are being disobedient to our purpose, our mission, and God’s goal for humanity: redemption, restoration, and community with their Creator and with their fellow creations. At the risk of sounding cheesy, the words of a song have been running through my head as I think through all of this: If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make a change. Change needs to start with us first, then we can change the world.

When we are faced with hardship and difficulty, it’s a cop-out to bail. Why not face the difficulty? Did God not say that He would give us everything that we need to accomplish His will (Hebrews 13:21)? If God bailed on us every time that we failed, there would be no redemption, no forgiveness, and we would all be destined to remain separated from God. Let’s not forget Jesus’ words in Luke 12, “From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” If we who have been saved by grace and who are continually forgiven by such grace should give up on the church who is desperately in need of grace, God help us all!

Submission, Part I

I met with a friend and mentor recently to begin a process of relational accountability and discipleship. Although I have only been in full-time ministry for 5 years, I have been in the church my entire life. I have seen the good and the bad of church, sometimes one has felt more prevalent than the other. I have experienced the pressures that congregations put on their pastors from two different angles: as a pastor and as the son of a pastor. I have had to remind myself on countless occasions that I am following Jesus, not any pastor, denomination, or church. I have learned that one of the most important things for us to do as Christians is to be in relational community with each other, submitting ourselves to each other in order that we may be an example of the Gospel to those who are walking in darkness.

I have also seen, both personally and in the media, the many who have fallen as they tried to maintain the appearance that everything was going “great” when all the time they were hiding an addiction, a relationship, or some other skeleton that lurked in their dark closet. Trying to live up to the expectations of people combined with the “I can handle this all by myself” attitude is a recipe for certain failure. When I see brothers or sisters in moral failure, I cannot say that I would never do that. As Paul reminds us in Romans 7, we are still influenced by our “flesh” and can be pulled in different ways if we are not careful.

It seems easy to say these things, but much more difficult to actually accomplish them. From the beginning, we have wanted things our own way; we have wanted to raise ourselves to the same plain as the God who created us. Our culture reinforces the sense of entitlement with which we already struggle within our flesh. We feel as if we deserve to be on the same plain as God. If we feel that we are worthy of being equal to God, why would we ever consider submitting ourselves to each other, fallible human beings?

Paul tells us in Ephesians 5 that we are to submit ourselves to each other out of reverence for Christ. But what can be gained by this kind of submission? Frankly, I think that the word “submit” gets a bad rap. If you look it up in the dictionary, among the many definitions is this “to subject to some kind of treatment or influence.” Other than the obvious depravity that stretches to our very core from original sin, there is one reason why I believe we aren’t comfortable with the idea of submission: we are not willing to build vulnerable relationships.

Yes, we can all say that we have deep and intimate relationships with people, including our spouses, but how deep and intimate are they? We all still house secrets within us, things that we are unwilling to share, and why? Because we are afraid of getting burned, we are afraid that someone will breach our trust and reveal those secrets to the world. Everything that is contained within us will eventually come out; we can only contain it for so long. Wouldn’t it be better to let it come out with someone that we trust?

God did not create us to live alone. He specifically created Eve for Adam, not just for the propagation of humanity, but because He said that it was not good for man to live alone. While many have used that as the basis for the marriage covenant, it also means that we all need relationships that extend deeper than Facebook or Twitter. While all of our social networking resources are great for connecting, they cannot replace face to face or live conversation, they still leave us alone and by ourselves. Only in face to face or live conversations can we build meaningful relationships that will allow for the kind of accountability that Paul talks about.

So what happens when we build these kinds of relationships? We begin to see the picture of submission in a different way than oppressive or bound in chains. We instead see it as freedom, freedom to be ourselves, freedom from the bondage of loneliness, freedom from the bondage of the things that we are hiding deep down inside because we are afraid to share them. And we share because true relational submission is reciprocal, both are willing to share and be vulnerable. If it isn’t, then it is just a different form of slavery and we are in danger of being in bondage to something or someone else.

Like I said before, submission has gotten a bad rap. We can't allow words to be hijacked because of the way that they have been used, abused, and misused in the past. If we are going to show that submission is not a dirty word, the only way that we can do it is by living it out in our lives, submitting to one another. Only then will the world that we live in realize that there's something more to what we say than empty words and wind.

Coming soon: Submission, Part II

Where Do You Go When You’re In Trouble?

At my church, we have been studying through the book of James. I’m a fan of James, because he says it like it is. He doesn’t pussyfoot around issues, he hits them head on. He seems to be all about “the bottom line” and getting straight to it. As he opens up his letter, after the usual greeting and pleasantries, he tells the letter’s recipients to “consider it all joy whenever you face trials of many kinds.” Interesting! He’s really just continuing the words of his half-brother who said, “In this world you will have trouble. But I have overcome the world.”

Trouble is pretty rampant around us. Some of the trouble that we find ourselves in is self-induced, some is others-induced. Even when it’s self-induced, we desperately try to make it someone else’s fault. Who really wants to admit that they got themselves into the mess that they are in? Turn on the TV or read the newspaper, check out your church’s prayer list, and you will find out that this world is full of trouble and we will encounter it.

It seems like we ask ourselves some obvious questions when we’re in trouble. Of course, there’s the “who’s to blame?” one. But we also want to know how to get out of trouble, as fast as possible. If we have any sense about us whatsoever, we eventually might ask “what am I supposed to learn from this trouble?” In my geometry days, I learned that the shortest distance between two points is a straight line. When we find ourselves in trouble, we want to get out…..fast. We are willing to cut corners and take as many shortcuts as possible to find our way out.

But that’s not always God’s way for us. Google “Israelites Exodus Journey” and look at the maps that come up. The route that the Israelites took from Egypt to Canaan was hardly the shortest distance or a straight line. It seemed like the scenic route….through the desert. While some may see that as fodder for the musings of a sadistic God, it’s hardly that. In fact, the Israelites had a lot to learn before they got to where they needed to go.

Why is it that the first place that we need to go when we are in trouble is the last place that we end up? We try to find our way out in whatever is humanly possible, somewhat ironic if we were the ones who got ourselves into this mess to begin with. Psalm 121 paints a picture of looking to the hills and seeing the help of the Lord come from them. He is the first place that we need to run to in times of trouble.

When we pray in our troubles, God gives us perspective. Sometimes he helps us to see that our troubles are not nearly as grave as we thought that they were. Other times he leads us to people who have it far worse than we do. When we spend time looking at God instead of ourselves, we realize that as bad as we think that we have it, there’s always someone worse off. While we may be worrying about the state of our 401K or IRA over the next 30 years, there are some in this world who are worrying about what happens in 30 minutes after they eat their last piece of bread. There’s perspective for you!

With no apologies whatsoever to Joel Osteen, we will face troubles in our lives, even trouble that isn’t self-induced. Sometimes we understand it, other times we don’t. We will face sickness, and despite people’s interpretations of James 5, healing doesn’t always happen and when it doesn’t, it isn’t due to a lack of faith. Despite popular belief, "My Best Life Now" doesn't mean that I'm happy all the time and that I never encounter troubles in the world. We live in a world that is marred by sin. Romans 8 is pretty clear that the fall of humankind did not just affect humanity, but all of creation. Sickness and death are a result of sin and whether we want to believe it or not, will ultimately be used for God’s glory. We are moving towards glorification, a new body, a new earth. There is nothing that we can do to make that happen other than putting our faith in God.

Over the last week, I have sat around with some other people talking through and praying for many in our church who have cancer. I don’t understand it and as I get older, it seems that the people who are impacted are getting younger and younger. Part of that is perception as I edge closer to 40, but part of that is true. If I did some research, I bet that I would find that 20 years ago there were not nearly as many cases of cancer in people aged 50 and below as there are today. We obviously haven’t learned whatever it is that we were supposed to learn, but we also haven’t figured out a “manmade” way to combat the effects of sin. Without Christ and what He offers, it’s downright depressing.

But salvation is about so much more than just “I’m going to heaven when I die so let’s crank up the Gaithers and have a good ol’ time.” Salvation is about a freedom from sin and death, a freedom from the “trouble” that we have gotten ourselves into. Problem is, we need to acknowledge that our salvation is nothing that we can do in our own strength. As the Apostle Paul pleaded with God to take away his “thorn in the flesh” whatever it was, he heard God say to him, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Total reliance on God is not weakness, even though that’s what the world says that it is. Total reliance on God is the quickest way to get out of trouble and find a strength and power that is perfect, completely outside of ourself.

I don't know what kind of trouble that you have or that you will have in the future. I may never be able to sympathize of empathize with you. I don’t know where you run when you’re in trouble. I do know that I often run everywhere but where I should go: to my knees. Whenever you find trouble or trouble finds you, don’t forget the words of our Savior, “In this world you will have trouble, but I have overcome the world.” It won't necessarily take away the trouble, but it will help you to get a perspective that extends far beyond yourself.

Kate Plus 8 Minus Jon

I am sure that the blogging world (especially the Christian blogging world) is a buzz with the seemingly inevitable news last night of Jon and Kate's impending divorce. All day long I have seen Tweets and Facebook updates regarding people's feeling about the decision to dissolve this 10-year marriage. Most of the updates expressed people's sadness over the end result here. There has been genuine sympathy and heartfelt emotion poured out online for this family.

My first initial thoughts as the "rag sheets" were continually following this story in recent weeks was "what did they expect?" I recounted to my wife the track record of couples who had allowed cameras to come into their homes and invade their privacy: Nick and Jessica, Hulk and Linda, and now Jon and Kate. Let's face it, the other two couples' celebrity status prior to their show rendered them poor comparisons. Jon and Kate were ordinary people who happened to have a chance to tell their story. Through the telling of their story, they made lots of money and Kate even launched a speaking and writing career through it.

How could a marriage sustain everything that they had been through in having two sets of multiples and then the allowed infiltration of their home by camera crews? While some may blame TLC for pushing the envelope, did they not know what they were getting into prior to this? It's like watching "Wife Swap" and seeing the look of surprise on the faces of the husbands who are being told that they are going to have to live by their "wife's" rules for a few days. Come on people, did you not read the fine print?

Kate's words on the show last night are still ringing in my ears, "My children are going to be another statistic." Sort of interesting that that was how she verbalized this whole sadness. Her sadness wasn't that a covenant had been broken or that the testimony of the commitment of marriage had been severely marred in her children's eyes, but that they were going to become a statistic.

I will curiously watch how the Christian community reacts to this news in upcoming weeks. Kate's book was published by Zondervan Publishing Company and the couple expressed their faith on various occasions. But where has the faith community been throughout the process leading up to this decision? Did they abandon the family? Did their past involvement with a church warrant concern from people who began to see the writing on the wall......or at least the writing in the National Enquirer?

As I think through what this means for me and the lessons that I can take with me, there are a few:

1) There, But For the Grace of God, Goes I

While I would like to think that my marriage is safe, I am not so foolish to believe that anyone is above this outcome as a possibility. That is why I rely so heavily on my faith in Christ. Marriage is hard, no matter how you look at it. It is full of compromises, give-and-takes, tears, joys, frustrations, and celebrations. In and of myself, I am incapable of being the husband and father that I need to be. Only through the power of the Holy Spirit manifesting the life-giving grace in me am I able to begin the process of transformation within me, making me more and more like Christ. Should anyone express their disappointment and disagreement with what has happened in their relationship and say that they would never be guilty of the same, they had better get out the salt and pepper because they might be eating their words in the future.

2) Our World Is Marred By Sin

Jon and Kate are humans who have been marred by sin, just like the rest of us. While divorce is mentioned in the Bible as a sin, God does not rank sin. They should not be villefied because the sin that has been committed is more public than the sins that the rest of us commit. Our responsibility is not to cause them to repent, that's the Holy Spirit's job. Our responsibility is to love them as Christ loves them. Yes, we may at times be called to confront sin in people, but unless you have a personal relationship with either of them, you have not earned the right to be heard. Plus, we don't really know what happened behind the scenes. There are Biblical grounds for divorce that may have been met, without a relationship with them, we can't know what happened other than what we see on TV or read in the media.

One comment that I had heard from people is "Why did they not cancel the show a year ago?" My first thought would be "Would you stop if you were making lots of money and were now able to provide for the family of multiples that you have?" I recently watched "Revolutionary Road" and the theme of that movie seems to ring true in this real-life situation playing out before our eyes: people will put up with a lot in order to make decent money (watch "The Deadliest Catch" some time). I want to be careful that I don't speculate too much, because that can be dangerous, but I wonder how much the thought of losing the income from the show prompted them to sweep their problems under the rug.

3) Use This As An Opportunity

Some of the saddest Tweets that I saw throughout the day were ones from parents who had watched this show with their children. They now had to explain what had happened between Jon and Kate to their own children. While it isn't ideal, is it the worst thing in the world?

I am convinced that children today are facing more serious issues far sooner than I, and my generation, ever did. Maturity is almost being forced on children prior to their being completely ready. But do we fight this or do we embrace this? If we fight it, our culture will not stop addressing these issues with our children. If we embrace it, we can have the opportunity to promote our worldview on certain issues to our children to give them a more balanced viewpoint. Life is hard and sometimes it hurts and wounds people, our children will have to face that fact eventually. Why not be the ones to express to them our viewpoint of why that is?

I personally don't know how I would broach this subject with my kids and how I would make them understand. I don't think that I will have to discuss it with my own kids right now though, as their maturity level isn't even close to grasping these issues. I think the important thing is that all of us who have been saddened by this begin to assess our own marriages and take some time to make sure that we are doing all right. Jon and Kate are two people on TV who could be storybook characters for all your children know. They are not the living, breathing flesh and blood that you and your spouse are, being observed on a regular basis, interacting with each other, and being an example to your children. How are you doing as that example?

The other way that I think that we can use this opportunity is as we talk to the people that we interact with on a regular basis. This whole situation is an example of why I support the idea of Christians being familiar with and engaged in pop culture......but that's for another blog post. Our society has taken to the story of the Gosselins, they are interested in it. Sometimes the best inroads to speaking with people who are seemingly different from us is through opportunities that the culture presents to us. Find out what people who you spend time with daily are thinking about this, especially the ones who don't hold to the same worldview and faith values that you do, if for no other reason than to do some research of your own into the human spirit.

I am a firm believer that no one is beyond the grace of God, redemption is possible in anyone. I would hope and pray that this situation can be reversed. Anything is possible. In the mean time, I can assess my own life, take advantage of the teaching moments that have been presented through this, and lift the Gosselin family up in prayer. While no one is beyond grace or redemption, only the intervention of the Triune God can make it happen.