Submission, Part II

That dirty word “submission” really gets a bad rap. I remember hearing messages from Ephesians 5 where Paul tells wives to “submit to their husbands” because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. It’s funny, I remember hearing messages about that first part of the passage, but I don’t remember hearing the charge to husbands in the next passage. Maybe I wasn’t listening too hard. Maybe I zoned out. Regardless of what happened, it wasn’t until years after hearing some of these messages that I really looked at the rest of the passage.

I had heard complaints about this passage from mostly women. Looking back on it, I have to say that their complaints were justified. If you don’t take into account what Paul says after this, then you only see a portion of his definition and ideal for submission. After Paul writes about wives submitting to their husbands, look at what he says to the husbands:

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

I really think that the reason that this passage evokes such strong negative responses is because of the lack of emphasis on Paul’s emphasis. There are 12 verses in this passage, 3 directed towards wives, and 9 directed towards husbands. Why has there been more of an emphasis on 25% of this passage without a stronger emphasis on the other 75%?

I can only speculate here, but I would venture to guess that it would be much easier for a woman to submit to her husband if she truly feels loved and valued by him. If she feels that he would give anything for her, wouldn’t she feel the same way in return? The husband’s responsibility is being compared to Christ’s love for the church. Christ gave himself up for the church in order that she might be made holy and blameless. Wives are to be top priority to their husbands.

Now, I slowly begin to slump down in my chair as I read through this passage. I realize how far short I fall when loving my wife the way that Christ loved the church. I realize that I have not taken my directive from the Lord as serious as I should. It becomes even more of a conviction as I realize that I have two little boys who will watch me and base their love for their future wives on what they see Daddy doing.

In my 8 years of marriage, I have never played the “I’m your husband so submit to me” card with my wife. I pray that in the next 50+ years of my marriage that I never will. If I am doing what I am supposed to be doing, I won’t even have to ask, it will be a natural progression. Submission is a two-way street and if it’s only one-way, then it’s not really submission. Husbands, we can redefine submission when we truly live out Paul’s words to us: to love our wives as Jesus loved (and loves) the church. When we start doing that, I think we will begin to see that mutuality of this word that has been abused and misused.

Husbands, may God give us strength and wisdom to know how to sacrifice ourselves for the wives that God has blessed us with, and that he uses to make us better servants of Him.

The Vilifed Villain

Unless you are complete anti-fan of sports and the media, you have probably heard at least something in the past week or so about Michael Vick being reinstated to play in the NFL and being signed by the Philadelphia Eagles. I have not been purposely following the public’s reaction to this, only eavesdropping. But I have seen a few different things that have really made an impact on me.

1) Tony Dungy is a remarkable man.

This coming from a New England Patriots fan. While he coached the Colts, I knew that Dungy had a fairly outspoken faith. He wrote a book that all Christian football fans seemed to “eat” up. My understanding was that Dungy, of his own accord, went to visit Vick in prison. Maybe he saw it as his responsibility to act as a spiritual mentor to Vick. The Apostle Paul wrote in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.” Tony Dungy has surely done this with Vick. Regardless of any personal feelings that one may or may not have for Dungy, what he has done is to be obedient to his biblical calling.

I know that there are some who have called him a “media hound” for having jumped into a situation that he was not directly involved in, but that is worldly talk. Remember Paul’s words that the gospel is foolishness to those who are perishing, the concept of what Dungy has done is so foreign to most people that it’s no wonder that they have accused him of being selfish, that’s the only way that some of them would have jumped into a situation like this, if they knew that they would get something out of it.

I believe that what Dungy has done for Vick is a model that the church can use in handling situations of accountability and church discipline. I can’t think of a more redemptive way of dealing with this situation than what Dungy has done. If our churches would only start fostering the kind of discipleship that encourages people to come and walk alongside people who have made mistakes, this world would be a much better place.

2) Michael Vick is not out of the woods yet.

While the road to recovery has begun for Vick, he still has a long way to go. There are so many skeptics out there who are probably just watching in hopes of seeing him fall again. I was having a conversation with some friends the other night and one of them mentioned that in getting involved with all the dog-fighting activities, he was just being true to the environment that he had been raised in, living the “thug” life. Can you take the “thug” out of Vick? No, but God can. That is what true transformation is all about, it’s the new creation that Paul speaks of, the putting off of the old self and taking on a new persona, the persona of one who is following hard after God.

I think that’s why the relationship with Dungy is so key. Vick is not going to succeed on his own, he needs help and more importantly, accountability. Dungy can be that for him if Vick allows him to be. I can imagine that Dungy won’t tolerate a lot though, he has been gracious, but I am sure, based on his coaching history, that he will pursue the goal of being a redemptive factor in Vick’s life as if both of their lives depended on it. While it would seem silly to me for Vick to even think about going back to his old ways of getting involved in any kind of activities involving animals and fighting, I have never been in his shoes before, and can’t even remotely understand what the draw was to it to begin with. But in plain and simple English: he would have to be an idiot to even think about going back there again.

Many people have said that there’s no such thing as a third chance, which again, is a fairly worldly concept, but I think it’s a fairly accurate statement from where Vick sits. To make another mistake of the proportion that he did before would only him to be completely ostracized by the world, more than he already has been.

3) Killing dogs vs. killing people.

At the risk of being put on PETA’s blacklist, if we cry out against killing dogs shouldn’t we also do the same for babies who are murdered every day? I am not saying that I support cruelty to animals, but what I am saying is “be consistent.” If we are going to make such a stand against hurting and killing animals, a stand which I think is well-justified, we should make equally or more of a stand for human rights. When we start valuing the lives of animals over people, we continue to show ourselves as to a world that has truly lost its way.

Michael Vick made a mistake, some would say that it was a stupid mistake, but he has paid the penalty that our court system has said that he needs to pay. He has been released from prison and hopes to become a “productive member of society” again. Can we stop vilifying the guy and start encouraging him? I wonder how the people who have been so adamantly outspoken against Vick would react if they were in his shoes, what would they do? Would they hope that everyone would vilify them as well, giving them no benefit of the doubt whatsoever? I doubt it. So, give the guy a chance, and if you’re a follower of Christ, pray for him, that he might stay on the path of righteousness.

4) Only time will tell.

Ultimately, only time will tell what will happen with Vick. He could become one of the greatest comeback stories in sports history. I think we all have smiled a little bit when we have watched those kinds of stories on TV. Vick has the opportunity to make a serious impact to the world, and especially to the younger generations. Unfortunately, we have elevated athletes to a place in our country where we discourage education in favor of millions of dollars. It seems like a no-brainer when you look at it, especially if you were raised with next to nothing. But here’s an opportunity for Vick to show some of the younger generation, who has idolized athletes like him, that everyone makes mistakes and not only admitting your mistake, but changing your lifestyle is essential to moving on.

Maybe you have seen the press recently on Josh Hamilton of the Texas Rangers. He was one of those stories. He made a huge impact at the 2008 All-Star Game and there were stories around where he had come from. He came back from an addiction to drugs and alcohol to be a signed Major League baseball player. And he’s a pretty impressive player, at that.

Apparently, last January, while preparing for the following season, Hamilton went into a bar to get something to eat. He ended having a drink that turned into about 10 or 12 drinks and was pretty wasted. Once the news broke that this had happened, people started coming out against Hamilton. They said that he should quit playing baseball, that he had committed the “unforgiveable” sin, and other wonderfully encouraging things.

Hamilton held a press conference to discuss what had happened, the details of what he said can be found here: http://rangersblog.dallasnews.com/archives/2009/08/hamilton-transcript.html
Josh’s wife said this in a statement on a blog, “Josh is a wonderful man, father and husband who happens to be human. We are all flawed and that's why we need a Savior.” More of her words can be found here: http://rangersblog.dallasnews.com/archives/2009/08/here-are-some-of-katie-hamiltons-thought.html

There seem to be a lot of similarities between Vick and Hamilton and I think that Vick can gain some insight from Hamilton’s success and recent mistakes as well. People will only be looking for Vick to fail, like it or not, he needs to be living a life above reproach, even taking Paul’s words in 1 Timothy to heart in how he lives. The slightest misstep on his part will “seal the deal” for him in the public’s eyes, and like Hamilton, Vick will be criticized and vilified even if he makes a mistake and admits it. So the best option is to just not make those kinds of mistakes anymore.

I really think that this whole situation is such a great example of the need for community within the Body of Christ. Despite what kind of advice the world might throw at us, we cannot live our lives as islands, independent of other people, and think that we will stay “clean and sober.” The only way to live a life that is above reproach is to make yourself accountable to someone. We are called to encourage one another and build each other up, that’s not a suggestion! Regardless of whether you know Michael Vick or Josh Hamilton, they are part of the same body and so, we should be praying for them.

My prayer is that God can use these guys with their successes and their failures to make an impact for His kingdom and His glory. Our treasure is in jars of clay, fragile and sometimes broken vessels which house the glory and grace of our Lord Jesus Christ who has saved us into the community of God. May we all learn to walk in community as we strive to live lives above reproach.