Finishing Well

Joe Paterno.  Seems like the name along conjures up some fairly strong emotions these days, no longer just in central Pennsylvania or with college football fans.  Paterno coached the Nittany Lions football team for 26 seasons before he was fired amidst allegations of “looking the other way” when one of his assistant coaches was charged with sexual abuse.  He lost his battle to cancer at the age of 85 and some might think that a merciful end for a man whose legacy is now marred with decisions that he made…or didn’t make.

Now, not only has his reputation been marred by his sins of omission, but his legacy at Penn State is more than in jeopardy.  The statue outside Beaver Stadium has been removed, all that is left is empty concrete with the hint of what used to be there.  The statue of Paterno and the players that followed him has been removed.  Sanctions are being imposed on the university and it seems there are efforts to wipe even the memory of Paterno from the history books, or at least remove any indication that he was at Penn State from the eyes of any and all who might come onto campus.

Here are the words from CNN.com's story, "Within 24 hours, Joe Paterno's statue at Penn State University came down and his record as the winningest coach at the top level of college football disappeared.  The steps by Penn State President Rodney Erickson and the National Collegiate Athletic Association drew sharply differing reactions Monday. They are the latest impact from a child sex-abuse scandal now linked forever to the university's storied football program.  Paterno's family and diehard Penn State loyalists condemned the penalties as an overzealous response that unfairly targeted the former coach, who died of lung cancer in January after being fired the previous November to end his 46-year career at the university." (For the rest of the story, click here: http://www.cnn.com/2012/07/23/us/penn-state-reaction/index.html?hpt=hp_t2 )

Sports can flesh out some fairly charged passions and emotions in people.  Big schools with big sports programs can have some pretty big fans and Penn State is no exception.  As time goes on, I am sure that more and more information will be revealed about things that happened behind the scenes at Penn State.  There have been accusations of favoritism shown to athletes, but that’s nothing new in colleges today.  It seems that stories are always emerging about the antics of athletes, both collegiate and professional. 

But the emphasis of sports in America and in our schools is most likely fodder for another blog post, not this one.  The real question that I have is regarding the latest debate at Penn State over the removal of Joe Paterno’s statue from the stadium.  Are the sins and indiscretions of this man whose undeniable football legacy enough to warrant the removal of a statue honoring what he accomplished?  Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

I’m not condoning what Paterno did in his covering up, at worst, or looking away from, at best, the vile behavior of one of his coaches.  In fact, it stirs up in me a common question that I have asked myself over the last few years: how do we finish well?

Regardless of Paterno’s accomplishments in football, this is the last and only thing some people will remember.  Despite his success, there are certain people who can’t look past this.  It’s not like this is the only time something like this has happened either.  While I hesitate to compare the significantly different behavior, Pete Rose is still vying for a place in the Baseball Hall of Fame after the mistakes that he made in the end of his career.  Regardless of what Rose accomplished, his legacy is marred and may never be cleared up because of how things ended.

Paterno died too soon for anyone to fully understand or see how he would be reacting to all of this.  There is no way for Paterno to issue a public statement.  He can't hold a press conference and express his deep regret and offer apologies to the families of the victims.  He can't submit himself to discipline in order that he might try to make amends for what has been done.

The other night at dinner, I scolded my 3 year old for some of his behavior.  He turned his back towards me and said, "You can't see me doing this."  I was shocked and surprised that he would even consider that and my wife reminded him that we do the right thing regardless of whether we think someone is watching or not.  That's the definition of character, right, who you are when you think nobody's watching you?

Over the last decade, I have seen my fair share of people's lives end, not the least of which was my mom.  As the end drew near, my observance grew stronger and I watched to see how these people would finish.  The Apostle Paul likened life to a race that we run.  It's certainly no sprint, it's a long distance run.  In long distance runs, it's essential to pace yourself.  If you don't, you will find yourself not finishing well.

Of the many people who I've observed at the end of their life, there were some who finished well and others who didn't.  I recall a man who had been on the beach of Iwo Jima and survived.  He had a reputation in his earlier life for being a great Bible teacher.  I was not privileged to have observed that earlier part of his life, all that I experienced was the way that he fed many ill feelings of the members of his Sunday School class who were less than satisfied with changes taking place within the church.  He stirred up controversy and promoted division.  He did not finish well.

Paterno did not finish well.  His reputation in the future will constantly be remembered not by what he did, but by what he didn't do.  I am holding no stones.  I have failed enough in my lifetime to know better.  But what I can do is strive to finish the race well.  I can live my life consistently and choose to learn from the mistakes of those who have gone before me.  I do not want mistakes that I make or sins that I commit to mar any and every memory of whatever else I might have done in my life.

May we all learn a valuable lesson from this, not by casting stones, but by living our lives differently.

Accountability

As I sit here at my computer, reading about yet another college sports program being ravaged by accusations of sexual abuse, I am in stunned silence. Our justice system tells us that people are innocent until proven guilty, but these allegations mar the reputation of these programs regardless of the truth behind them. I find it hard to understand why anyone would make up stories like this and instead think that perhaps the bravery and boldness of the few who first spoke up has given courage to others who feel that their stories need to be shared.

As a father of boys, I have thought about the accused as "dirty old men." Once upon a time, that phrase seemed to be reserved for old men who made comments to females passing by, even their "dirtiness" may have been limited to some lewd looks, gestures, or remarks. These recent allegations move past intangible comments or gestures and delve into a new area. That's not to say that rude comments and gestures are innocuous, because they are just as capable of causing harm to the victims, but once the physical boundary is breached, the crime moves into a whole new realm.

It's hard to understand just how a person comes to the place where they think that this kind of behavior is appropriate. In my mind, there are two things that can lead to this: lack of accountability and abuse of power.

Regardless of how strong any of us thinks that we are, we need to be held accountable. When we lack accountability, we open ourselves up to all kinds of potential dangers. If we do not have people around us who can ask us difficult questions and call us out when we begin to do inappropriate things, the slope on which we may find ourselves will be slippery, at best. Accountability means that we submit ourselves to people whom we trust, people who have the potential for reaching down and pulling us out of any pit in which we might find ourselves.

Anyone who has found themselves in a position where people look up to them has most likely experienced the inner emotion that comes from that kind of power. Whether we are willing to admit it or not, we have probably all wondered how much we could use (abuse?) the power which we have been given. This possession of power points back to accountability. If we find ourselves in positions of power, we absolutely need people who are looking out for us.

Regardless of your viewpoint of Billy Graham and his ideology, it's hard not to respect the man for the choices that he has made in his life. Early on in his ministry, he made the decision to never travel alone and never be found with a member of the opposite sex (other than his wife) alone. As one considers the life and ministry of Rev. Graham, he resembles Teflon in many ways, any allegations that may have come at him would simply "not stick" because of the accountability and structure that he had set up around him. That is wisdom.

It seems like a lot of allegations of these kind had been reserved for members of the clergy, both in the Catholic and Protestant churches. As the floodgates open and additional allegations surface, it seems that anyone is capable of this kind of behavior. Regardless of what position of leadership we find ourselves in, it is in our best interest to be held accountable. If we keep our behavior in check and have others who are watching us, any allegations that might be lobbed our way will hold less weight simply because we have covered ourselves with people to watch what we are doing.

We might look at the Penn State case and say, "What happened here?" Paterno claims to have confronted Sandusky on his actions, even going so far as taking it to a higher up official who did nothing. Who are the people that act in these positions for us? Do we trust that they will have our best interest in mind, regardless of the price that we might pay if we begin down the wrong road? Friends who are willing to hold us accountable are willing to do so even when it becomes difficult. If the relationship is strong enough, it will endure, even when we are confronted with difficult issues.

I learned a long time ago to never say never. While I could claim that I am incapable of the kind of behavior that has surfaced in recent days, I know that my environment can dictate much. Malcolm Gladwell wrote, "all of the results strongly suggest that our environment plays as big - if not bigger - a role as heredity in shaping personality and intelligence." Given the right (or wrong) circumstances, we may be capable of things that we did not think possible, yet another reason for accountability. While it might be an inconvenience for us to change things in our lives to incorporate this kind of accountability, I can guarantee that the inconvenience would be minor compared to finding ourselves in a place where we have done irreparable harm to ourselves and others. It's all a matter of perspective, and frankly, I would much rather a minor inconvenience that impacts me versus a major inconvenience (or worse) that impacts many others as well